Ordinary Situations

I need another weekend to recover from this week!

2010-05-03T16:11:00.005+10:00

This week has been a strange one.

Grandpa died, which was just so sad because he was a beautiful, good hearted man. He passed on a great sense of humour and a talent for singing to much of our enormous extended family. He had a long and good life, but it was awful to lose him, and I'm filled with regret at not having spent more time with him. How true that we don't know what we've got till it's gone.

I had been planning to visit him the day he died. I wanted to sing him some songs in the hospital. He died a few hours before my planned visit, and I was really upset that I hadn't sung those songs to him - a hymn called come back to me, and some old songs like 'don't sit under the apple tree'.

However, on a previous visit I had brought him a little contraption that played 'how much is that doggie (in the window)' when you turned its handle. It was a song we used to play on their pianola as kids (I use the term 'play' loosely as of course you only push the pedals on a pianola - great fun for kids, no piano playing ability required!) and grandpa sang along as I turned it for him. I think it's a funny song to have sung the last time I saw him, but it's connected to lovely childhood memories and at least it was a shared musical moment with him before he went. He said to me 'it's funny how at the end all the old songs come back to you'. I think that's a lovely idea - that when we are nearing the end of our life, a history of songs that have accompanied us over the years come back in a medley of memories.

I decided to sing him some hymns when we went in to St Vincents Private to see him after he died. It was one of the saddest and most wonderful moments for me and I'll always remember it. Nothing I could have said to him as I sat by the body would have told him what I was feeling - that I was grateful for the gift of singing that he not only passed on but also encouraged at family events, especially the family singalongs on christmas day; the fact that the last christmas he had with the family, when everyone knew he was unwell and so everyone came along and joined in the singalong, was the best christmas I could ever have had; the way his gentle grumbling that I was wasting my voice led me to seek out singing lessons again after years of not having that joy in my life; that even though I had lost my sense of connection to the catholic church over my life, that singing was the closest I felt to a sense of reconnection (not with the church but with a higher power); that to sing to him was to honour him and farewell him in the best way I could think to...

The day before he died, grandpa took mine and Bertie's hands, put them together, and put his hand around ours. He then said "stick together" in a strong and encouraging voice. I felt like even though he wouldn't be there to attend our wedding next year, he had just given me the strongest and most beautiful blessing of our relationship that I will ever have. The fact that someone from his generation could take our hands and sanction our union in such a straighforward, caring, accepting way touched me so deeply. It was one of the most amazing moments in my life. I will always think of it, and I hope to incorporate it or honour it at our wedding.

It was like at that moment I felt married to Bertie simply by the powerful sense of love and recognition that Grandad was directing to us.

A beautiful example of Grandad's sense of humour was that after he said 'stick together', I teared up and said 'we will'. He looked at me with a glint in his eye and said 'shut up - stop being so sentimental'. He was so cheeky - imagine making me choke up with tears with the beauty of a gesture, knowing I'd be moved, only to tease me for being sentimental! I love that story and I know that it's one I'll tell our children and keep in my heart forever.

Our niece pulled through her brain operation - there are still issues, and she is still recovering, but the fact that nothing bad happened on the operating table is something for which I'll feel very grateful for a long time. She's just a wonderful kid and I'm glad to know her.

My brain test (EEG) on thursday was an interesting experience. I had electrodes glued to my head. The two women at the Austin who did the test were very friendly. I felt comfortable and at ease about the test... UNTIL they got me to hyperventilate and then put strobe lighting in front of my eyes! hey!

The deep fast breathing made me feel very nauseous. After doing that for what felt like ages, I was unpleasantly surprised by the strobe lighting, which had me flinching and feeling like my head was exploding. I don't know what the test results were (I have to wait until a neurologist appoint in JULY when I get back from Europe...geez), but I do know that I never want to have an EEG again.

And even more news! What an emotional, eventful week! I graduated on Wednesday. Bertie took the day off and bought me a new dress, took me in to the ceremony, helped me run around getting tickets and robes and deakin souvenirs and photos... then my parents arrived (nearly too late to see the ceremony! At least I know where I get it from!). Bertie's mum - my mother in unlaw - came along too, which was very sweet. She's really enthusiastic about education and has been really supportive of my educational efforts over the years I've known her. I felt very special getting that piece of paper, finally. It's taken me bloody long enough to get an Arts degree. I find it so hard to finish what I start, so it was a real feeling of achievement and elation when I walked up on that stage and officially graduated. I wasn't expecting the rush of happiness, but it was very welcome in a week where things were so sad and hectic and stressful I nearly cancelled going at all!

My parents were busy trying to help organise the funeral for Friday, so they weren't sure they could stay for the rest of the ceremony after my name had been read out, but in the end not only did they stay to the end of the ceremony, they came out to dinner afterwards too! Bertie and her mum were there too. I felt so pretty in my new dress, and so happy after my graduation, I don't think I would have cared what I ate. Joy of joys, then, that my meal at Number 8 (on southbank, part of the crown complex) was the best lamb meal I've ever eaten. The meat was superb, it literally melted on my tongue. It was cooked to perfection, and the honey jus and caramelised parsnips with it were divine. The only thing I didn't love was the herb crust. In the end I would have preferred it without it, but most of it was easily scraped off. Our sides of broccolini with feta and spinach with pine nuts were also delicious. I was really happy with the whole night. It was a nice break from all of the stress and sadness.

On Sunday, Bertie and I went to some of the gardens in Melbourne to find a wedding ceremony location. We really loved Carlton Gardens, near the Hochgel fountain, on the lawn between the two rows of trees. There was even birds of paradise (my favourite flower) and these other AMAZING orange flowers that towered over our heads and had green/burnt orange leaves. They looked Tim Burtonesque, or like they belonged in Alice in Wonderland. There were also bright red and purple flowers - Bertie loves flowers, and it just seemed like a beautiful setting for a wedding.

We also ended up going to Iron Man 2 - we didn't think we'd have time, but we braved a late night (we're such nannas these days) and saw it at the Westgarth at 9.30pm after all the runaround that day. It was fun, but not as good as the first one. The highlight of the date for me was the little amount of time we had to kill before the film - we wandered down westgarth until we saw Kelvins. I've never been there, but when we walked in and saw the dark comfortable interior with shelves of board games we knew we'd found a good spot. Some girls next to our table were playing connect four, but we opted for Scrabble and played a quick game while sipping on glasses of port. We both enjoyed the Galway Pipe port more than the Bethany, though I do like a sweet drop and the initial taste of the Bethany was delightfully sweet. The Galway Pipe was just richer and had a nicer aftertaste.

I always think of Bertie's dad when I drink port. He's the reason I got to like it in the first place. It was the first year anniversary of his death the day after grandad died, so it was hard for Bertie being around death and funerals and mourning right at the time she was grieving afresh for her own father, who died so young at 59. She was so strong for me over those few days, but it was a sad time for both of us.

2009 review

2010-04-20T15:25:00.004+10:00

I started a '2009 review' of the goals/ideas/crazy harebrained schemes that i had come up with and posted about here, and realised how often I never finish what I start. I am a changeable, flighty kind of personality who requires new concepts, projects, hobbies, situations all the time. However as much as I need change, I also need to learn to finish things so that at the end of a year I can look back and see how much I've achieved rather than thinking 'where did that go? what have i got to show for all that time?'...

Funnily enough, and true to my nature, I never even finished the review! So, nearly four months into the year of 2010 already, here is my review of 2009 (only for months where I posted ideas to try and start/stick to):

Jan 2009 - already reviewed in this post:

essentially it was shorter showers, dishes using soap shaker, cleaning without chemicals, researching and trying kangaroo meat/sustainable fish, making own bread/cheese/jam, public transport activism, getting license, recycling old unused phones, learning to use my old sewing machine, getting debt free, using my bokashi compost bin, and not buying food from stupidmarkets... VERDICT? FAIL! I started many of them but the only one I stuck to was cleaning (the bathroom only) without chemicals, eating sustainable fish, making a batch of jam ONCE, and getting debt free. Still that's something, I guess.

Feb 2009 -

- reduce or give up sugar intake (started; not stuck to)
- use the easiyo yoghurt maker to make my own yoghurt (started; stuck to for months but not currently using it)
- give up soft drink (started; not stuck to)
- give up chocolate unless fair trade (started; stuck to inconsistently)
- use shower timer (started; stuck to for months for not currently using it)
- use shower bucket (started; not stuck to)
- use each towel for 2 days instead of 1 (not even started)

March 2009 -

- get tshirts with amputee slogans made (not started)
- tricycling (started; stuck to for months but not currently using it)
- start cooking snacks like muffins, cakes, dips, muesli bars, biscuits etc instead of buying them with high sugar/additives content (not started)

April 2009 -

- sign for trike 'three wheels, one leg' (not started)

June 2009 -

- running with new running leg (started; stuck to; need to get the knee fixed to keep using it but have to find time to get in to see the prosthetist)
- cook recipes from Julie Stafford's 'Taste of Life' cookbook, and post photographs and descriptions of the experience (started; not stuck to)
- use my reusable sandwich wrap from the Environment shop (never started)

July 2009 -

- see a psychologist (started; stuck to for months but not currently still doing it)
- start running each morning (started; not stuck to because insomnia meant I was too exhausted in the morning)
- pack healthy lunches (started; stuck to inconsistently)
- learn to ski by joining disabled wintersports victoria (never started)

September 2009 -

- DIY wedding - learn millinery esp fascinators, papermaking, scrapbooking, card making, felting, calligraphy (never started)
- learn to knit, make clothes for winter and as gifts (started; not stuck to)
- give up idea of postgrad lit and apply to graduate from arts (achieved!!!)

I'm going to take any of the ideas I still want to do from this list, and add them to my 'to do list' on the side of the blog. Hopefully my review of 2010 will be a little better ;)

Modified exercise and sport for above knee amputees

2010-04-20T14:23:00.002+10:00

I'm trying my best to gather information, mostly from the net, about normal sports or exercises that have been modified to suit amputees. Probably mainly above knee amputees just because it's what I know.

I want to teach myself - and then record my results - for yoga, tai chi, martial arts, swimming styles (this at least I already have experience with), gym techniques, cycling etc, but all without my prosthesis if possible, because of the pain in my lower back resulting from using the prosthesis so much. Maybe when I can afford to buy a better prosthesis that isn't so heavy and awkward, I can start to incorporate exercise with a prosthesis.

However, as far as I'm concerned, my real body is legless on one side, and the prosthesis is just a tool - like crutches or a walking stick - that helps me get around in a world made for people with two legs. However, my most natural and comfortable state is without a heavy weight hanging off of my shorter left leg. That's what it feels like - a dead weight. It is not part of my body, so I will never be able to move it gracefully or naturally.

I've found a few sites that mention different modified poses for amputee yoga, so I'll incorporate those and credit the sites I got them from when I mention each pose. I've now found Gisoku Bodu's site so I'll try some of the moves he mentions and credit them to him when I mention them on the site. Obviously I'll have to modify some of them as he seems to use his prosthesis. Who knows, maybe once I get started I'll prefer using the prosthesis anyway.

I'm going to try not only posting about my adaptations of different activities, but also putting up photos... we'll see if that ends up happening or if I'm too shy ;)

Validation

2010-04-20T14:01:00.004+10:00

I've just started reading a blog called 'Gisoku Budo' (Gisoku means artificial leg in japanese; budo means martial arts) which is written by an above knee amputee, so really relevant for me. He obviously uses a silicone sheath like mine, too. AND his amputated leg is his left leg. So lots of similarities.

I found it so relieving and validating to read one of his posts about having to stay home from something because of sores on his stump. It's a hard thing to talk about sores or in-grown hairs on your stump, mostly because it's so hard for others to relate to it. I have sometimes said to people that 'I'm having trouble with my leg' when i need to cancel going out to something, rather than the more specific and honest excuse 'I have a painful infected in-grown hair on the weight bearing part of my stump because I have sweated lots inside a tightly fitting silicone covering'. I mean, firstly yuk, and secondly? Lame excuse. It sounds so weak to me, so to read this post and say yes! my pain from one bloody hair on my leg is awful enough to cancel something and someone else gets that! is lovely, though to be fair if I was honest and told my friends the more specific reason, they would probably be more understanding than I give them credit for.

Anyway here's the quote from his post in full: "woke up on Wednesday morning with an absolute cracker of an infected sore on my stump. This isn’t necessarily anything unusual by itself, it’s just annoying. I think a lot of these instances are caused by infected hair follicles or in-grown hairs, both of which are apparently pretty common amongst amputees. The reason behind them as I understand it is due to the nature of the situation – the stump’s generally wrapped in a non-porous material (in my case, a sheath of silicon that acts as a membrane between my stump and the socket), you get sweaty over the course of the day (exasperated at this point in time by the Australian summer heat), and being a guy and having hairy man legs (is this too much information at this point??), something’sgot to give. If I get them in random spots on the leg it’s not too dramatically bad, but when I get them along the areas that support my weight around the socket (typically around the top of the socket and at the very base), it can be extremely painful. Imagine a crazy blind pimple on the ball and heel of your foot, that’s what it feels like."

Can I get a "hell yes?"

health problems... and learning to look after myself

2010-04-20T13:26:00.004+10:00

Well, in a few hours my niece goes in to have brain surgery at the Royal Children's Hospital. She collapsed from a brain bleed after an AVM in her brain ruptured. I'm thinking of her and getting as close as I get to praying (sending silent pleas out to the universe to keep her safe. I think of them as being waves of emotion being sent out, probably useless but even if the only effect is to make me feel better then I guess it could be seen as worth it). Anyway, I'm hoping she pulls through it ok, she's only 12 and has her whole life ahead of her. I love her a lot, she's a great kid.

It's been a bad time lately health wise for my nearest and dearest. My grandfather is sick with cancer at the moment and went in to the hospital yesterday with breathing trouble.

And I've been experiencing seizures. About four in eight days. I had a CT scan and it came back clear (a huge relief as there was a possiblity of secondaries of my cancer showing up in my head, or a lesion of some sort). I'm having an EEG to check for epilepsy in a few weeks too.

I'm considering the possibility that they're stress related, too. I haven't had one for about five or six days now so I'm not sure what that means. I was trying to think of what was different in the week I had them, and I couldn't think of anything. Then Bertie pointed out that it was in that week that we'd been visiting the children's a lot. Once I stopped visiting so much (due to a combination of full time work and a throat/ear infection that I couldn't pass on to Ebony), I stopped having them. It could just be a coincidence, the seizures could happen again at any time according to the doctor, but I do remember that every time I came into the childrens hospital it brought back traumatic memories. The triggers for those memories weren't spectacular, in fact they were quite mundane - the artwork on the wall was the same, the food outlets were the same, the elevators were painted the same colour, the same statue was in the foyer... in fifteen years it seemed to be the same hospital that I had basically lived in during the time of the cancer/amputation. Also, seeing my niece at 12 (I had been 9/10) in the bed in the hospital made me experience my cancer from the perspective of a visitor/adult, with all the worries and fears for a helpless child before my eyes. I do wonder if the hospital triggered the seizures, or at least triggered stress in me that could have triggered seizures...

I noticed too in the MRI that as I went into the tunnel (a tunnel I found scary and upsetting as a child), tears started pouring out of my eyes and I couldn't stop shaking. I had to have the nurse come and comfort me and move my head back in to position, and I was very embarassed and surprised by my reaction. The nurse reminded me that having been through this before as a child with cancer, the reaction was in fact very natural and understandable. Once she had given me permission to feel what I was feeling, I just tried to acknowledge the stress and then calm myself. I realised that I was thinking 'not again, not again, not again', and that the possiblity of having cancer in my head was being linked to the experience of having cancer in my leg. I don't feel that I'm that traumatised by what I went through, but obviously deep in my mind - and in connection, my body - I have some buried emotions and memories that are coming back.

It's interesting, because part of the reason I started therapy was because I was having dreams and flashbacks about the cancer/hospital experience, so I am wondering if these seizures are just another manifestation of that stress that I have buried - in my therapy I never got around to tlaking about the leg and the hospital (did I purposely avoid it?). I ended up talking about things that were bothering me about life right now, mainly. I ended the sessions because I had run out of the government subsidised sessions and I couldn't afford more. It might be time to reconsider that and make room in my budget for it. I ended my time with the psychologist by simply never calling up to make my next appointment, so I feel a bit uncomfortable about that. Still, she was very good and if she'll have me back I think I'll go and see her again.

I know that stress is sometimes a trigger for Bertie's IBS symptoms - I was skeptical at first but over the years I've had to accept that stress is very closely linked to our body's physical health, and that it's important to acknowledge and deal with stress in your life.

As well as considering returning to therapy to try and deal specifically with issues relating to the experience of cancer/amputation/hospital, I'm also considering taking up yoga, tai chi, meditation, massage... I'll even give things like hypnotherapy and acupuncture a go. I just want to get rid of my stress so I can prevent health problems from happening instead of dealing with them when they hit.

I want to look at other preventative health measures in my life too - mainly diet and sleep. I have been noticing over my last thirteen months of insomnia that my sleep levels are directly linked to my mood for the day:

Three-four hours equals: I can function but i'm going to be on edge all day and then crash, usually accompanied by huge mood swings and emotional outbursts. I will be sick by the end of the day and end up taking a day or two off each week.

Four-five hours equals: I can function but I'm going to be on edge all day and then crash, usually accompanied by huge mood swings and emotional outbursts.

Six-seven hours equals: I can function but I'll feel tired and grouchy during the day, and will not feel motivated to go out at night, or in fact do anything at all after work hours.

Eight-nine hours equals: I can not only function but I feel capable of doing something in the afternoon too, whether it be cleaning the house or cooking a nutritious meal or catching up with a friend or going to a singing lesson etc

These are all variable of course, depending on how i've slept in the nights previous, what my diet has been like previous, and what is happening in my life. But basically, if I get the sleep it's easier to eat well and to feel positive about what's happening in my life... so it seems like a great first frontier.

Now that Bertie's back from work interstate, I seem to be sleeping just fine. So it seems a great time to start ensuring i get eight to nine hours of sleep a night. It's hard though, because my mind is so active at night and it's when I most want to read/play computer/have a conversation/do exercise/watch a bit of telly, etc... still, worth it if I can feel happier and more able to deal with life each day!

Restaurant Review - Maedaya (YUM!)

2010-04-06T22:03:00.003+10:00

So...

Maedaya in Richmond is my FAVOURITE restaurant in Melbourne. Big call, but there it is.

I was going to write a post about it, but have found some superb posts done by others, like this one at the My Food Trail blog

And this post at Melbourne Gastronome

Are you convinced yet? No?

Take THAT! and THAT!

POW!

BAM!

See you there :)

beef steak with garlic and grandfather port drools

2010-03-21T20:48:00.003+11:00

I have been eating a bit more red meat lately as my iron levels are low...

Tonight i had two small beef steaks and didn't want to just fry them up and chew away at the meat like I have a few times since starting to eat meat again. I knew that red wine could be used in sauces, and I felt like spoiling myself. AND we had an open bottle of Penfolds Grandfather port sitting around begging to be used.

So i combined a few recipes for red wine sauces I found on the internet.

This is what I ended up doing.

I cracked pepper and sea salt over a plate, dolloped three teaspoons of minced garlic on to the plate, and then poured a few teaspoons of olive oil over it and mixed it all up with the back of a spoon. I popped the two steaks on to the plate and rubbed both sides in the garlic/salt/pepper/oil, and heated up a pan (with no oil). When it was hot I cooked the steak for about 3 or 4min on each side, then let it rest on a separate plate. I added a tablespoon of nuttelex to the pan, half a cup of stock, a few tablespoons of beef gravy powder, two tablespoons of grandfather port... it mixed in with the leftover garlic/oil/salt/pepper and turned into a rich, tasty sauce.

Loved this sauce so so much. I wouldn't normally use such expensive port in cooking, but for a treat it was lovely. I didn't cook the port for long enough for the alcohol to be burned off, so it tasted lovely and alcoholic. I was surprised at how good the port tasted in it - I ate a few spoons of the sauce by itself before pouring it over the meat and it was so good I went back for a few more spoons. It complimented the beef so so well.

I overcooked the beef slightly for my liking - it was medium well done instead of medium rare - but the port sauce, full of the juices from the pan, made the meat taste delicious.

Win! This recipe's a keeper :)

so I don't forget my first Port Fairy Folk Festival in many years!!!

2010-03-14T20:56:00.005+11:00

I didn't see any of the bands on Friday, as I got the train and bus down after work and arrived too late. Karl was good enough to pick me up from the bus stop. We got to the camping grounds and it was pitch black - pretty much straight to bed, which worked for me as I was tired and knew the next day would be exhausting.

First up on Saturday morning was Tenzin Choegyal & the Monks of Tibet... the monks were great, loved some of the unusual sounds they made with their voices, but the highlight for me was Tenzin Choegyal's voice. I thought to myself (as I would during many concerts over the festival weekend) 'I must get this guy's CD later, when I have some money!' Grr at being poor, but I was lucky to be able to afford going to the festival at all considering we're saving for Europe in a few months time. While I was in the tent a woman got up to leave, and it turned out it was Robyn, an old family friend!

Next I went to Kate Vigo and the Undergorund Orchestra, but it wasn't the kind of music I felt like that day (lovely voice though!) so I wandered to the free street part of the festival... that's where I ran into my aunt and uncle, and two friends. I had lunch with my mates and then we headed to the Fiddler's Green. 'The Tiger and Me' were playing, a band from Melbourne I already really like.

Next I caught a bit of 'Band of Brothers' with Karl (great guitar work), and then 'Totally Gourdgeous' (who were quite hilarious).

According to the program description for Band of Brothers, "The Grigoryan and Tawadros family names are synonymous with australian classical music. Guitar virtuosi, Slava and Leonard Grigoryan, join the extraordinarily talented Joseph and James Tawadros for an adventurous musical partnership that crosses boundaries."

Met up with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin at The Shebeen and had a Moscato mmm, and then headed to the Lighthouse Cafe to see The Crooked Fiddle Band, who were... it's hard to describe. Some of it seemed to be folk metal if that's possible, while others were more rock or more classical or gypsyish. Meh hard to describe but AWESOME to listen to. One of the best things I listened to that weekend. I bought their cd and haven't stopped listening to it this week.

I wanted to head to the Ruby Hunter tribute concert that night, but it was so packed and in the end i piked (which i regretted). However this meant I got to see the excellent Ego Lemnos, with plenty of room to stretch out and listen right up the front. He's an East Timorese man with a beautiful voice, so smooth and relaxed!

I caught a few songs by the badloves (where had they been? Green Limousine! random but in a good way...) and finished the night off with an excellent concert by Dereb Desalegn & the Lion of Judah. I'd never heard Ethiopian jazz before. I wish I'd gotten up and danced... I'd like to get a cd of his stuff too.

On Sunday we had more rain, and more great music. I started out with Kavisha Mazzella first thing in the morning (she was one of the main reasons I was excited about PFFF in the first place). She was wonderful as usual. Such a lovely voice.

I had some breakfast then headed (too late) to 'A Woman's Voice'. Not too late to hear the music but my god it was crowded. I couldn't get a seat inside the enormous tent, and had to sit outside on the grass. I couldn't see much of the stage but they helpfully set screens up and I watched that instead. I got to hear the awesome sounds of Kerrianne Cox, Eleanor McEvoy, Alanna and Alicia Egan, Kim Richey, Jen Cloher and (again) Kavisha Mazzella.

At half three i went to the open mic retro open stage at the RSL hall. I wasn't planning to sing, but the guy taking names was pretty nice. He'd asked 'are you performing today?' and I must have hesitated sufficiently for him to sense that a part of me wanted to sing something. He encouraged me, and I got up (first) to sing 'The Grey Cock' and 'Red is the Rose'. Nerve wracking as all hell, and my diaphragm wobbled enough that I thought I sounded bad. I was shaking, and even said I'd only sing one song so I didn't put anyone 'through too much pain' lol. I was asked to sing a second song, and the applause and comments convinced me I'd done ok.

The band hosting the open mic session was called 'Dev'lish Mary' (another cd I'd like!) and they were three women, one on the fiddle, one on the double bass and the other on guitar... and all doing vocals - great harmonies - together.

I wandered back and saw a few bands, nothing I remember really, and then caught the bus to the surf club. The four groups were amazing - the Bree Arne Trio, Tara Minton on harp/vocals and her excellent brother on saxophone, Shanachie (both girls had beautiful voices, I particularly liked the girl with the deeper voice), and The Tiger and Me (who were even better than I'd seen them the day before, if that's possible - I think the gypsy rock sound filled that little place and rocked it out so well compared to fiddlers green where the sound kind of disappeared into the air a bit.)

On Monday I finished off the festival with a visit to Glover & Sorrenson (funny but not brilliant, the part I loved was when Mal Webb got a spot in the show. He layered music and sounds over eachother with a pedal thing (got to find out how he did it!) that recorded the sound whenever he put his food down on it. God I'm a technological luddite. Anyhooo it was amazing. Next up at the Lighthouse Cafe at 11am was Alanna and Alicia Egan from Bendigo. They were one of my favourites from the 'A Woman's Voice' concert and I'd hardly seen that except on a screen from a distance... this time on the Monday, I sat right up the front and got to hear and see them much better. I'd like their cd, they were funny and had fantastic voices.

Finally, I found Karl and we watched Genticorum, a band that rocked my socks off. They were a French canadian Celtic band... if you can imagine that! DEFINITELY want their cd.

Avatar aka Fern Gully 3 (Spoiler alert)

2009-12-29T12:36:00.001+11:00

James Cameron’s recent film Avatar was an exciting, visually amazing ride that ‘did it’ for me as a viewer. I gasped and smiled and even shed a tear. I got completely involved in the characters and their struggles, and I came out of the cinema saying ‘WOW!’ That being said you could be forgiven for enjoying just about anything if, like I had, you had finished watching the spectacularly boring and irritating new bundle of crap in the Twilight saga fifteen minutes before Avatar. The only consolations in the pile of smelly film that was New Moon were a disturbingly attractive shirtless teenage werewolf and half a minute of a vampiric red eyed Dakota Fanning who tortures then pouts. Delightful.

Anyway, after a few minutes of raving about the wonderfulness of Avatar to my less enthusiastic partner, my ‘children’s literature’ brain that had worked so hard at uni a few years ago switched itself on… the movie had reminded me of something. Dinotopia? Lush tropical plants and some pteorodactyl-like creatures, sure, but no. Fern Gully? Yes! In fact, I realised – and bored my partner to death as I explained it all out in excruciating detail – they had the exact same plot!

I got home and instantly googled ‘Fern Gully’ and ‘Avatar’. I was a little disappointed to realise that ten billion katrillion bloggers and youtubers had realised the same fact before me, but at least I knew I wasn’t being crazy. It really was the same plot: human male comes into forest as part of team destroying the forest, upsetting the natives who are in tune with and connected to the forest and who live in the trees. The handsome human man is transformed into a native and learns their ways, slowly (and almost too late) figuring out the error of his own people’s ways. He falls in love with the pretty native lady, pissing off the handsome native man who had dibs on her first, and decides to join forces with her people to defend them against the evil human tree destroyers. In typically unrealistic hollywood fashion a few key-but-not-too-key people kick the bucket, the handsome human gets the girl, the evil treehaters leave, and the natives live happily ever after in their magical forest (one presumes until the next technologically advanced exploitative bunch of humanoids decide to drop in for a visit/war).

Amazing.

That being said, Avatar was way cooler than Fern Gully. If it did copy the plot, it also improved on it. Plus the chicks were way hotter (and isn't that the most important thing, really?). That’s why it pains me to tear into it the way I’m about to. I hope that after analysis it will still hold up as a movie I can enjoy.

Will start posting my savaging/comparison of Fern Gully and Avatar soon...

January review

2009-11-22T23:06:00.000+11:00

Goal/Plan/Idea 17/01/09: was inspired by ‘Towards Sustainability’ blog and a few amazing books like Animal Vegetable Mineral and Chemical Free Home. Started the ‘Ordinary Situations’ blog to document my steps toward a more principled life.

Current situation: have stopped my shorter showers, my dishes using a soap shaker; only thing I’m doing still is cleaning with vinegar and bicarb around the house instead of chemicals. Want to at least get back to where I was – 4min showers and soap shakers for dishes (although I find the dishes one hard to keep up because soap scum is an issue – you can add bicarb to the washing sink and vinegar to the rinsing one but I got lazy, harrumph it shouldn’t be that hard).

Goal/Plan/Idea 18/01/09: research kangaroo meat and more about sustainable fish eating.

Current situation: trying to be a vegetarian again but never seem to be completely successful; don’t seem to have the willpower; wonder why I cant just admit I’m an occasional meat/fish eater and just research the most sustainable and humane options possible. Think I will always feel conflicted because the ideal in my head (an ideal I had once achieved) was vegetarianism and everything else feels uncomfortable and weak. Still want to research kangaroo meat and more about fish, especially as this will be helpful information to know as a dietician, especially if I work with clients who are struggling with meat related ethical issues

Goal/Plan/Idea 18/01/09: adding skills like cheesemaking, breadmaking etc to my dietary self-sufficiency repertoire; retrofitting an existing house to be eco-friendly rather than building a new eco-friendly one from scratch further out from the city; getting involved in public transport activism and using public transport/carpooling/walking as much as possible to make the best of the convenient location we buy in...

Current situation: haven’t learned to make cheese, but I have a book (typical), haven’t learned to make bread but we’re going to use a myer voucher we got for our engagement to get a breakmaker, we haven’t bought a house, I haven’t gotten involved in public transport activism (no time!) but I have started learning to drive and will try to carpool as much as possible once I have my license, and I will make sure that wherever we buy a house it’ll be close to a train station that I will use as much as possible.

Goal/Plan/Idea 18/01/09: “Bertie and I are planning to upgrade our mobiles soon, so it was fortunate I spotted this article. Our old phones will now be dropped off at Melbourne Zoo, where they'll be given to Aussie Recycling who are refurbishing the phones. They're then resold, which reduces the demand for coltan; the money made from reselling them also goes to the Jane Goodall Institute's primate conservation program.”

Current situation: I never did this. My old phone is still around somewhere. Meanwhile I have bought YET ANOTHER phone, this time an iPhone, but I am still using my old one while I transition to a new number. I am currently springcleaning my house so I’ll try to find the old one, and when I’m done with my newer old phone I’ll drop them both off at the zoo. I’m a shocker.

Goal/Plan/Idea 19/01/09: had found my beautiful old sewing machine I inherited and planned to learn how to use it.

Current situation: Never ended up catching up with my friend so she could teach me, and enquired about some lessons at a local shopfront in Northcote but never came up with enough money to do it.

Goal/Plan/Idea 20/01/09: getting debt free

Current situation: got free of the debt! Now can focus on paying for driving lessons and test I’m about to go for, singing lessons I’m about to start, Christmas presents that need to be bought, and then the Europe 2010 trip!

Goal/Plan/Idea 23/01/09: borrowed the idea to shave your legs before taking a shower and use running shower water to rinse off from the government’s save water site.

Current situation: did it for a while, but slipped back in to old habits.

Goal/Plan/Idea 23/01/09: bought a bokashi compost bin.

Current situation: never used it. Realised it was going to stink my apartment out because of the heat in our kitchen. Decided to start using it when we get a place. Besides I have nowhere to bury the compost and no garden to soak up the compost juice you get out of it on tap. Still plan to use it but it’s a waste of space right now.

Goal/Plan/Idea 26/01/09: made my own jam. It rocked. Nicest jam I’ve ever eaten except for Grandma’s.

Current situation: haven’t done it since. Dammit. Need more yummy homemade jam.

Goal/Plan/Idea 28/01/09: don’t buy much food from the stupidmarket. Instead get it from the farmer’s market or psarakos; use freecycle to get rid of things I don’t want, and declutter frequently.

Current situation: don’t get to the farmer’s market often but go with mum when I can. This will be something I can do more when I have a car to transport my shopping home when I can’t get there with mum; in terms of freecycle I used it to give away a few things, and got myself a used dryer that was on it’s last legs that tided me over for six months (it died but has been replaced with more power efficient model). I am currently decluttering for the first time since writing that post, so I get a big fail for that one.

Goal/Plan/Idea 31/01/09: tour an abbatoir

Current situation: nope, cos I’m a wuss

Time to look back before going forward

2009-11-22T22:54:00.003+11:00

So it's almost December... 2009 has been a crappy year all round for Bertie and I.

Still, this blog started out as a really regular outlet for my thoughts and plans, and a great way of trying to find positive things to focus on in my life.

Now that the end of year is nigh, however, it's time to look back on those thoughts and plans. I thought there might be a 50/50 ratio of achieved to not achieved, but the reality was more depressing... it gave me a great deal of insight into how fickle and changeable I am, and how quickly I get excited, plan and possibly follow through briefly, then abandon and forget and jump on to the next thing. Hopefully next time someone advises that I'm changing things too often and suggests finishing something or thinking about an idea for a bit longer, I can see where they're coming from instead of scoffing at them internally for being unsupportive.

Keeping a blog is a great idea for a personality like me - at the end of each year I can go back and recommit to good ideas that I've let slide, pick up good ideas that I never even started acting on, and discard/laugh at the things that were either bad ideas or which I know I'll never find time for. I'll try to be realistic and only recycle the best ideas into the new year.

I started my review series with Jan 2009. I had a new idea for every day, and sadly nearly all of them either never got started or failed soon after they had begun...

Get off yer arse!

2009-10-04T18:25:00.003+11:00

Amazing day today at the track! I haven't been going to the training/coaching sessions run by wheelchair victoria because my leg had been locking and making it imposible to run without falling. Today was my first day back there in months, and while I'm exhausted after a long day, it was worth it. I feel so fit and wonderful, even if my body is a bit mad at me for putting it through so much...

First day back at TAFE tomorrow - the plan is to run there, and just do without all of my textbooks. I need to get as much training in as possible before next weekend's 5km run in the city. Oh my god what am I doing??? We'll see how much I end up running, haha! I'll be lucky if I can do a kilometre made up of short bursts throughout the 5. Oh well even if - worst case scenario - I can't even make it to the finish line next weekend, whatever I achieve will be amazing considering I'll have had one week to train on the leg, and considering where I was physically a year ago!

Yay :D

Leg leg leggity leg leg...

2009-10-03T23:45:00.002+10:00

So my amazing prosthetist Hannah, and the awesome Mark and Al from the Royal Melbourne Hospital have made my running leg happen.

Mark made it possible, Hannah made it work, and Al made it HOT!

We used fabric from my year 11 formal dress, a horribly pink fru fru kind of thing. It had been unused in my cupboard for years, partly because I had a yukky year 11 formal and didn't like to wear it. What better way to make a positive from a negative than to use it as fabric for a prosthesis!

After being laminated it came out a beautiful textured blackcurrant/plum colour, and I'm looking forward to taking some photos of it to put up on this blog.

Tomorrow I'm taking it out for its first spin - I haven't been to any of the wheelchair sports Victoria sessions for months because my other leg was locking and I kept falling... now I can go back and get some pointers and some practice one week out from the 5km run!

I am going into this run with no expectations, as I'll only have had a week to learn my new leg and how to use it. and I'm really really unfit after a few months of no running. I imagine I'll be doing short bursts of running followed by long bursts of walking. It'll be interesting walking on this running leg as it's definitely not designed for it. It's a bit awkward but this afternoon I wore it around the house to see how it'd go... time and practice.

I'll muddle my way through the 5km run on the 11th, then train properly and get better on this leg in preparation for the Marysville marathon where I'm planning to do a 10km run/walk. It's on the 8th of November so I'll have just under a month.

Getting all growed up...

2009-09-24T07:44:00.004+10:00

Well it's been a tough year, and this post is going to be about the educational issues I'm come face to face with in 2009. A bit boring, so feel free not to read ahead (if there is in fact anyone who actually reading this blog):

Last year I was studying literature at Deakin University, and while I loved it more than anything I've ever studied, it didn't feel like a career in the field of literature was going to give me job security and a decent wage - both of which I need if I'm to support the children Bertie and I plan to have in the near future. The plan is for me to be the main breadwinner, as Bertie's keen to have the babies and stay at home (and I am not!). Then again, I'm miserable when I'm not doing something I'm absolutely passionate about, so this career needed to be something I was really interested in...

Well, over last year an idea started to form. It got stronger and stronger until it turned from an idea into a plan. A job that was interesting, challenging, offered lots of room for moving up, sideways and topsy turvy (policy, hospitals, private practice, education, product development) - nutrition and dietetics!

I knew I was interested in food for a number of different reasons - I have been trying to lose weight and get healthier, and wanted to know more about how to do that; I am struggling with cravings for meat and want to know more about replacing the nutrients I'm missing with nonmeat alternatives; I have many friends who are vegetarian, vegan, or lactose/gluten/fructose intolerant and wanted to know more about how to understand/help/cook for them, and I was feeling drawn to issues of food activism other than vegetarianism - questions about genetic modification of food, preservatives and additives and the harm they might be doing, advertising of junk food to children, etc etc...

So what better area for me to get into?

But I couldn't entirely let go of my Arts degree. I had actually finished enough subjects to graduate with one major (in Arabic), but I wanted a major in literature too, so that (in typical me style), I would have a backup plan, an escape route, a passionate fling with books that would be waiting there for me to return when I tired of nutrition. So I gave up four advanced credit points I had got for my days in journalism at RMIT so that I could do the four literature subjects I still needed to do to get that second major, then I deferred my arts degree and planned to finish the literature subjects online along the way. I enrolled in a TAFE science bridging course that I had been told would get me into science courses at university, and off I went for 2009.

Well it turned out that my Certificate IV in Science is not recognised by universities as a replacement for VCE biology, chemistry or maths (why is it called a bridging course if the bridge only takes you halfway across the river?), so I was left with the knowledge but not the entry requirements. The nutrition course at latrobe needed VCE Chemistry, and I had been led to believe that this course would suffice... but it wouldn't. Should I redo VCE? That's what one person in the course planned to do when she too found out... Should I do biological sciences for a year and then transfer into nutrition if my grades were good enough? It was a decent option - many of the subjects were the same as the nutrition course, so I'd be getting a headstart on my nutrition degree. But what about my literature subjects? What about my arts degree?

Stuff it, I thought. Bertie and I have a house deposit, two overseas trips, and a wedding to save for. I'll work next year and study my lit subjects online - and finally finish my Arts degree.

However over the last few days, for a number of reasons, I've been thinking about things a little more seriously and carefully. I've decided to do nutrition. So why am I still mucking around with a literature major? So I could do a postgrad course in literature somewhere amongst the nutrition studies? I am making Bertie wait for those babies while I dabble about in this and that at uni, and it's really not fair on her. The pressure for her to come up with the money for everything we want was making her consider another year on a campsite job, away from me, and boy have I had enough of that. I realised that it's time to get all growed up...

So yesterday I began the process of finding out if I can get those credit points back, and graduate from my Arts degree. I'm pulling back from the Cert IV to a Cert III, as this will allow me to get the knowledge I need to survive at uni next year while also allowing me to work part time through Nov & Dec (because for the last few months since Centrelink recognised our same-sex relationship and cut me off, Bertie's been supporting me financially). That way Bertie can put that money into our savings and our travel plans, and I can financially support myself.

And I will apply for biological sciences at Latrobe, or Nutrition & Food Science at Deakin (no science or math prerequisites for either of them), and get on with the job of getting a job.

Now that I've finally made this decision, I feel hugely satisfied. After all, there is nothing stopping me from having passionate side projects once I'm working in nutrition. I can start writing articles for online literature journals. I can get those singing lessons I've always wanted and try to get a gig or two. I can get better at knitting and try to sell a few things online. I can do a short course in poetry and write a collection. I can do what I want, as long as I'm also doing what we need.

I feel a little like an adult. I feel like someone who's ready to get married. I feel good, gosh darn it (and I haven't felt good about my life's direction since high school, when I thought my road stretched straight ahead of me, clear and visible and easy to follow). Hell yeah.

bit by bit, I'll learn to knit...

2009-09-22T13:27:00.003+10:00

I've done lots of 'practice starts' with the continental knitting, but couldn't seem to get the hang of it... I knew I needed more lessons, but wasn't going to CCCK until Sunday. I found a book with some really clear instructions about casting on, then starting to knit, and then casting off - the problem was that they were in english style. The book was 'Knitty Gritty: Knitting for the Absolute Beginner' by Aneeta Patel.

I looked online for some good continental style tutorials, but none of them seemed to take me from casting on to the first row of knitting. Instead there would be a casting on tutorial, and then a knitting tutorial where a few rows had already been knit. The first step from casting on to knitting might have been self explanatory to most people, but not to me.

So I got some tips on English style knitting from a friend, then followed the book until I had the hang of the new style. I quite like it, though I'm sure the continental style would have been just as good with some more practice. After a few test runs I've started the 'scarf proper' - any mistakes from here on in are staying in that scarf. And I'll be buggered if I won't wear it every cold day there is until I've made a better one!

Today is a bit chilly, but with sunny patches, so I've set up on the front step, with a cushion behind me, knitting in the wind and fresh air. Delightful. Dwayne is playing at my feet, but every now and then the little rascal comes and plays with my wool and I have to get him off of it. He also likes tapping the loose knitting needle so it rolls across the table/floor making a funny sound. What a beautiful, funny little cat he is :)

FIRST KNITTING PROJECT
The colour: bright green
The wool: Studio Mohair 12
The needles: 5mm
The book: Knitty Gritty
The project: chunky scarf

overly ambitious, non crafty, extremely busy person attempts death-by-craft

2009-09-21T20:58:00.006+10:00

OK... I love to make plans. I especially love to make overly ambitious plans that I cannot possibly follow through on.

Here is my 'if-i-don't-eat-sleep-or-study-this-might-actually-work' plan for learning some crafts, and some of the reasons for learning each:

1. SCRAPBOOKING & CARD MAKING

Wedding reasons: I'd like to make the invitations and thankyou notes for the wedding myself, as this seems to be a pretty enormous cost when you have lots of people coming to your wedding. Also, it'd be nice to be able to tailor each invite to the person your sending it to. And if i'm not too exhausted post-two-weddings, I'd like to make a scrapbook/photo album of our weddings and honeymoon.

Other reasons: I'd like to be able to make birthday and Christmas cards for friends and family in the long term, as i think it's ridiculous to pay $5 or $6 for a card that isn't personalised and probably isn't that funny. I'd also like to be able to scrapbook special events in my life as they happen.

Plan: There appears to be a scrapbooking and cardmaking shop in High St Preston, called Flutterbuys, which sells supplies but also runs classes. The first one I want to go to is on 'stitching cards' (for own info: 15 oct, 1pm-2.30pm, $25 includes materials). The second is a class on scrapbooking for beginners (for own info: 20 Oct, 1-2.30pm, $15, bring 4 photos)

2. PAPERMAKING/RECYCLED PAPER

Wedding reasons: I'd like to make the guestbook out of recycled paper (if it looks good and Bertie likes it)

Other reasons: I'd like to put less stuff in the recycling bin each week and try to 'reuse' more often. Making scrap paper and cardboard into something useful would help with that. It'd also be nice to have some homemade stationary to write letters to friends with.

Plan: A CAE course somewhere along the way, maybe? Or perhaps I could just get one of these papermaking kits and start figuring it out by myself.

3. CALLIGRAPHY

Wedding reasons: I'd like to write the invitations and any text for the guestbook myself, not to mention the wedding program and the thankyou cards. And I have terrible handwriting! I need to learn to make it pretty.

Other reasons: it'd help to make those handmade birthday and christmas cards look better - no point making a pretty outside if the writing on the inside is scrappy and scrawled!

Plan: there's a CAE calligraphy course (thursdays 6-9pm from November 11 to December 12) for $230... as calligraphy isn't something I think I can learn by myself, this might be a good idea.

4. KNITTING & CROCHET

Wedding reasons: I'm seeing more and more knitted wedding dresses online, and the idea appeals considering that the Canadian wedding will be in wintertime (!)... However I recognise that that's a superambitiouss idea, even for me, so I'm content with just planning to knit matching shawls/shrugs for myself and any of the bridal parties who might want one :)

Other reasons: making clothes for myself, Bertie, and future offspring. Not to mention knitted soft toys like my Nanna used to make for us when we were little.

5. SEWING

Wedding reason: making ties that match my dress, making flowergirl dresses if I have time, and sewing a 'first night as a married couple' nightgown (teehee!)

Other reasons: clothes. Clothes clothes clothes. Cheap, ethical, fitted to ME, and personalised.

6. MILLINERY

Wedding reason: making a fascinator/veil for both the Australian and Canadian wedding, to match my outfit

Other reasons: I want to make hats as presents for friends - cool, different, and practical

7. FELTING

Wedding reason: I'm leaning towards making my bouquets out of felt. I have a few really pretty patterns but have to figure out how the hell to follow them. A class or two may be in order.

Other reasons: seeing lots of felting projects jumping up on the net lately - bags, hats, cushions, toys... I think it'd be something cool to know. A complement to the knitting!

Learning to knit, cos knitting's the shit!

2009-09-21T00:24:00.003+10:00

So... I went to the knitting class at CCCK yesterday. Didn't do too terribly - Ewelina taught me the continental style of knitting (it turns out she's also a talented artist with an exhibition on at fortyfive downstairs), and Andrea helped me decide what needles and yarn to use. They both seem like lovely, friendly people and I definitely plan to practise my knitting this week and then return for more advice and more yarn next Sunday.

I must admit I found it difficult to do things correctly when I tried it again at home. I couldn't seem to get the logistics right - what side does the knitted bit of the scarf sit while you knit, how do you stop the tail getting in the way or getting mistaken for your yarn, and worst of all how do I go back and fix mistakes (Ewelina tried to teach me this but I'm a bit slow and couldn't figure it out.

Still, I plan to get better at knitting - I am keen to start making some of my own clothes (shrugs, shawls, jumpers, hats etc), and making presents for family and friends that have a personal touch and haven't cost the earth.

DIY 18 month project - my wedding!

2009-09-19T14:06:00.006+10:00

Hi folks, I got proposed to a few weeks ago (yay!!!)

It was a beautiful thing to have happened after so much sadness (Bertie's father passed away earlier this year, we inherited his beautiful little cat and then she passed away recently after we fell in love with her, I found out my tafe course won't get me into the uni course I expected it would, I've been suffering from insomnia and flashbacks to hospital times, and someone I know has gotten involved with a disturbing religious group...)

But I'm getting married to the love of my life! And what bad news can top that, hey?

Also, in news that is ALMOST as exciting (haha yeah right), I'm on holidays from TAFE! It's been a long stressful year and I'm pretty keen to get back into my blogging over the holidays and renew some of those ideas about life changes that have fallen by the wayside due to stress...

I've been reading this amazing blog called offbeat bride, which has great ideas for weddings that aren't the normal run-of-the-mill production. A lot of the brides or brides-to-be on the site are pretty alternative, and a lot of them are into DIY projects. I love the idea of having some personal touches.

Here is what I aim to do myself (if Bertie likes what I come up with):

- save the date cards, invitations, thankyou cards
- a knitted shawl/shrug for myself and anyone in the bridal party wanting one
- my own non-floral bouquet (felting? crochet? knitting?)
- wedding party favours
- fascinator/veil
- cake topper

OK so that's a whole lot of DIY for a currently non-craft-skilled person! I plan to have a crafternoon instead of a 'bridal shower' (ick), and I'll have a few projects ready to get friends to help with. I'm thinking I'll experiment with the centrepieces and decorations until Bertie and I like what we've come up with, then I'll organise the crafternoon and see if I can get some mates to help out with making those. The bouquet and the fascinator'd be a nice thing to do by myself.

Tomorrow's the high vibes festival up in high st northcote, and there appears to be a wool selling shop called CCCK there. Excellent news is that they are running knit and crochet classes throughout the day. Yay! You have to buy a beginner's kit, but I need one of those anyway. There's a good start.

update

2009-08-02T16:06:00.004+10:00

TAFE - constant state of stress. No structured 'exam week' - instead, an exam every week or two, with assignments and prac reports galore... Never a chance to wind down, even over the holidays we had a TONNE of study and homework to do. Feeling utterly overwhelmed, not enjoying myself much anymore, just trying to get it finished

UNI - pulled out of the one online subject I had been doing (Shakespeare: eight plays), as the essay question was utterly ridiculous and I couldn't handle it on top of the TAFE stuff. Feeling like an epic educational failure right now. Oh well I seriously underestimated the difficulty of the science course, guess this is the consequence. At least I did it in time to escape it going on my academic record...

FRIENDS - friends? What is this word you speak of? I have been a craptastic mate this year, pretty much disappearing off the face of the earth. Every time I do go out, I'm still stressing about something or other relating to tafe. Can't wait to be working normal hours in a normal 9-5 job (did I just say that?) so I can have the weekends to catch up with mates. When I was working full time, I might have been tired from work on weekends, but at least I didn't have to stay up late on saturday nights writing essays while my friends go out and have fun >:(

BERTIE - she's still away working interstate, just went back today after a week home. It was insane as usual because we were both just exhausted and run down. BUT it was amazing to see her after a month away, and we did have the most wonderful weekend before she left (equal love rally, harry potter 3D, wicked for the 3rd time, drinks with mates we've missed, a nice hotel room...)

WEIGHT LOSS/FITNESS - bad, bad, bad... I can get the exercise happening on an ok scale, but the food? I'm out of control. I make bad choices again and again, then feel discouraged and go 'oh well, I've stuffed today, I might as well go all out and fix it up tomorrow'... but when you eat fifty points in a day instead of eighteen, no amount of good behaviour or exercise is going to get me back to where I need to be for the week. So eventually, as the points go over and over and over the weekly limit, I give up a few days before weigh in and stop tracking until that thursday. Gah! I had done so well, lost twelve kilos, was getting fit. And yet, every time I feel like getting the routine back in action, the stress of tafe makes me want to eat until I puke. Unfortunately I'm an emotional eater, so I am hoping to speak to someone about trying to break that link in my mind.

LEG - My wonderful prosthetist Hannah, and Mark from the Royal Melbourne have been amazing. Hybrid running/walking leg has been doing wonders but has some issues with locking, and the new proper running leg is on the way.

Dreaming of a dreamless, deep sleep...

2009-07-13T19:37:00.003+10:00

Back to TAFE today, and straight into a week of exams and assignment due dates. I've been steadily putting on weight, and have made some really bad food choices over the last few weeks... aagh! That being said, when I'm stressed and sad that tends to happen. Hopefully getting to a happier place in my mind will mean getting to a healthier place on the scales. I plan to see a counsellor to help me manage stress levels, get running in the mornings to put me in a good frame of mind, and try to pack lunches so I always have something healthy and yummy to fuel my brain each day. However, the most important thing I plan to do this week is to tackle my insomnia - each night I'm going to have a hot shower, then get into bed at 11pm with a herbal tea and a book or my laptop, lights out at 11.30... I'll let you know how it goes.

I probably won't be posting much this week because of the stressful tafe situation, but I'll try and do some cooking/photo posts as I've been slacking off on the cooking front lately. Maybe a nice soup, what with this super cold weather and rain we've been getting...

OK, wish me luck! See you after exams :D

Loving a reality TV show... what the?

2009-07-07T18:30:00.005+10:00

I am loving Masterchef at the moment, and was so keen for more cooking reality fun, I tuned into 'Ready Steady Cook' this afternoon - I had to turn it off, it annoyed me so much. Luckily, I had just got my hands on some 'Iron Chef' episodes and so got to watch American chef Bobby Flay beat Iron Chef Morimoto and challenger chef Kandagwa beat Iron Chef Sakai in the '21st century battles' episode... very entertaining!

Masterchef is getting so exciting, and the contestants have all improved so much. Sam left the comp yesterday, and I was sad about that because he seems like such a lovely guy, and obviously had a lot of talent to get that far. The thing I admired most about him was the way he stepped up whenever he was put under pressure - who survives 10 bouts of elimination rounds and survives? Very impressive. I felt that the pannacotta/macaroons challenge yesterday was a really tough one and that he went out on a real challenge. Better that than to have left on one of the taste testing elimination rounds, where for example Tom's guess of 'thyme' instead of 'oregano' kicked him out of the competition.

I like Julie best, she seems so down to earth and unpretentious. Each week she is improving so much, and getting more praise from the judges, but she takes it all so humbly. I just want to hug her every time I watch the show. She seems like a real 'mum' sort of figure, and I think if she sets up her home-style cooking restaurant after the competition, I'll be heading wherever it is to sample the fare!

I really like Justine too - she's given up the challenge of facing a celebrity chef a few times now so that someone else can have a go, and it is just refreshing to see someone in reality TV who isn't constantly playing the game. I also like the way that she seems so young but seems so talented and 'with it'. She does a good job of being in charge of others or working in teams - I get the feeling she'll do really well outside of the competition when she's working in a real kitchen.

I think what I've loved so far about Masterchef - yeah it's got a bit of the trappings of reality TV, but on the whole the judges aren't horrid to the contestants, in fact they seem quite chummy and supportive, and most of the contestants have come across as really good natured. It's refreshing!

Anyway, tonight's episode is about to start! Time to get on the bike and see if Julie can beat a celebrity chef to go through to the finals :D

No pain no gain as they say...

2009-07-05T22:45:00.005+10:00

I'm so happy today, despite the fact that my good leg aches like a biatch, and I'm so tired I'm heading to bed really early (unusual for me!).

Today was the coaching session with Wheelchair sports Victoria. Tim Matthews was there to help us, and having read a bit about him and his sporting and paralympic achievements, I was a bit embarrassed and shy to be getting on that track in front of someone so impressive - after all I'm a bit overweight, very unfit, and new to the whole running thing.

I might have been gasping for breath for much of the session, but you know what? I came away feeling proud and excited and exhilarated, not embarrassed. I've been running for such a short time, and have been exercising for less than a year, but I was motivated enough today to get on a track and run till I felt like I'd hurl or keel over. And look, it can only get better from here - my difficulties today make me feel like working my butt off to get fitter before the next session so I can get even more out of it.

Tim was very approachable, and very helpful. I got some fantastic advice - I need to lift my knees up higher when I run, and push off more from my good foot. I also swing my leg out slightly as I run. I felt like my technique really improved today, but I'll need to keep those tips in my mind all of the time so I don't fall back into the old way of running.

One of the best things about today was meeting another amputee who has a c-leg and a running leg, and just looks so fit and healthy and is running so well. It was very inspiring! It was great to see the people in wheelchairs (coolest wheelchairs I've ever seen) doing the athletics stuff too. It was clear that ther were a lot of people who had just gotten on with it, despite their disabilities. It was a really affirming experience. Today I got this sense of being in touch with myself and my body for the first time in year - I was always at pains to reassure myself and everyone around me that I was coping fine, that the leg didn't bother me or affect me at all, and that I didn't think of myself as n amputee or as disabled. And yet ignoring the leg and my experience of amputation for fourteen years didn't work all that well: I've been so busy trying not to think about my disability and trying not to seem 'disabled', I've actually closed myself off from accessing all of the amazing opportunities and information that have been out there the whole time.

But today I ran, anyhow. Tim suggested I run about three times a week - I normally run from bus stop to bus stop, pausing at each one for about 5min to catch my breath and rest. Now I have to run from the first bus stop to the second, then straight away walk back to the first. Three of these to begin with, then five, then eight... on the days I don't run, I'm going to get on my exercise bike - Tim suggested about 40 to 50 seconds of normal pedalling, then ten seconds of pedalling as fast as I can, then back to the normal pedalling again and so on.

And on Thursday I'll have enough to become a member of Disabled Wintersports Victoria, and hopefuly learn how to ski. The parentals are helping me with the cost of that, and a friend who does skiing has offered to lend me some decent gear too! Very excited at the thought of learning a completely new skill.

Finally, there's the gym - I want to get there once a week to do machine weights, fitball/handweights, and treadmill. I think I'll get to the gym tomorrow so that I can improve the fitball balance and core strength stuff before my next physio session on thursday.

Holidays speeding by, reality setting in...

2009-07-02T20:05:00.004+10:00

I've been up in Phillip Island for a little while, and boy was that good for the soul/body. Relaxation, walks/runs on the beach and along the coast road, delicious healthy food, and time spent with family... Sorry I've been out of touch on the blog!

However, the dream had to end - I had to go to tafe today to sit a prac I missed during last term (nice of the teacher to give us that opportunity), and today my off campus material arrived for the Shakespeare subject I'm studying at Deakin this semester.

I decided that tonight I'd try reading the first Shakespearean play that we're studying, Henry IV Part 1. It's meant to be a cold, stormy night so what better way to spend it than reading a play that is meant to have been extremely popular in it's time? I'm also planning to watch 'My Private Idaho' tomorrow, which is meant to be loosely based on the play.

My other exciting news is that I finally have access to a camera again (yay!) so I'll be able to resume my cooking challenge... apparently taking photos of the food as a document of my success/failure is a big part of the fun for me, as without my camera I never managed to complete a dish past asparagus rolls (maybe I lost a bit of motivation when they sucked too haha! I will be trying them again at some stage...).

My nieces are coming over on Saturday, so I'm hoping we can all make some banana date scones together from Julie Stafford's More Taste of Life. I'm tring to think of something yummy and healthy and (most importantly) quick and easy that we can also cook for dinner - something that little kids would like to cook, and then eat. I found a recipe in Stafford's book called 'Party Sausages', which are vegetarian and sound similar - but healthier - than something I already make. Hmmm that might be a winner...

Holidays can't come soon enough...

2009-06-25T19:58:00.003+10:00

I had a physio session today, and my physiotherapist Miyuki seemed really happy with my progress as a runner. I did a quick lap, and then explained which muscles were a bit sore or stiff - she's given me a number of stretches that I can now do before running, and before my gym exercise too (yay!)... I also got some techniques for core strength and balance using the swiss ball and some hand weights.

I'm a bit behind with TAFE at the moment, as Bertie's been home and I've also been losing focus as my excitement about spending time with her, and about my newfound love of exercise and fitness, grows. Also, my mind and body have switched into holiday mode early, maybe because I've pushed myself so incredibly hard this term. No excuses for dropping the ball though, I'm not working this year, so one course, no matter how full on, should not be overwhelming me in the way that it has. I'm disappointed but hopefully I can get on top of some homework and study this holidays, especially while I'm up in Phillip Island with no distractions (apart from beaches, relaxing, time spent with family, cooking, etc... lol)

Other priorities for this holidays are working for a few days, catching up with long lost friends, going to my first coaching session with Wheelchair Sports Victoria, and getting some decent, long sleeps so I don't end up crashing and burning in the second half of the year.

Speaking of sleep, it's time for me to finish off some homework and jump into bed *yawn*

2009-06-24T09:09:00.002+10:00

I have a few more days of TAFE this week, and then I'm off to Phillip Island with my family for a week or so. My poor kitty cats are going to a cattery... hope they'll be ok. Meanwhile, I'm planning to take my chemistry textbook and do my holiday study on the balcony overlooking the cliff, with the beach below... heaven.

I was planning to stay for a full week if I could, but I might come back a bit early to go to Melbourne Uni's physics lectures that they hold for the public in July. The first one, on July 3rd, is called "Galileo's invention of the astronomical telescope and his remarkable discoveries: moons, stars and a new planet"... definitely worth coming back for I think.

In other exciting news, I had an email from Disabled Wintersport Victoria to say that yes, they can help me - a person who has NEVER skiied, with any amount of legs - to get on the snow and get skiing. Fabulous! Apparently they have camps that you can attend...

And my first running session with Wheelchair Sports Victoria is on July 5th, so not too long to wait!

Finally, in an attempt to finish my neverending arts degree, I'm doing a literature subject at Deakin next semester. It's a subject on Shakespeare, involving EIGHT plays, so I need to spend a little bit of time this holidays reading a few in preparation. I know that next term it'll be hard to find the time, as I'm only just keeping up with all of my TAFE work this term as it is.

Bertie is leaving soon, which makes me terribly sad, but at least between Phillip Island, skiing, running, Shakespeare, and free physics lectures, my holidays will be jam packed full of fun and busy-ness... it'll be next term before I know it *groan*

"The will to win means nothing if you haven't the will to prepare." - Juma Ikangaa, 1989 NYC Marathon winner

2009-06-17T18:56:00.000+10:00

As a kid I did jazz dancing, ballet, tap dancing, tennis, athletics, basketball... I was active and sporty. When I lost the leg at age ten, I became much less active - it wasn't all to do with the amputation, as I was at this stage getting more and more interested in reading, studying, singing, politics and activism, and other non-active hobbies - however, looking back I think I did let the amputation slow me right down. For example, I was too embarrassed to keep up my dancing with a prosthesis because I thought it'd look awkward and strange, and that people would stare or laugh. It seemed pointless putting so much effort into sport and dancing when I had so many other interests and hobbies to keep me busy.

Fast forward fourteen years, and I'm struggling with my weight, I feel sluggish and unhealthy, and I want to change my activity level dramatically.

For the last six months or so, I've been on weight watchers, trying to shed the kilos until I feel healthy in my own skin again. I don't think the program is perfect but it gives me a bit of structure, discipline and assistance in my weight loss struggle.

At the same time, I've been working out at the gym semi-regularly (trying to get big biceps so that Bertie will be impressed), walking as much as possible from place to place, and riding my fabulous new tricycle around the inner northern suburbs like a one legged, three wheeled hoon.

Meanwhile, my fantastic prosthetist and physiotherapist have been getting me toward a goal that in the last year has become very important to me - getting an energy returning foot, and learning to run! My prosthetist Hannah has also made me a fab new socket with a silicon suction suspension system, which took a bit of getting used to but is now working fabulously.

I am now running a little every day, and have decided to take a big leap of faith in my newfound ability - I've signed up to the Melbourne Marathon's ASICS 5km run on October 11 this year! I'm a little nervous about whether I'll be able to do it, but I guess if it gets to the day and I can't finish the race, I'll try and be happy with whatever distance I achieve.

I'm also wanting to learn how to participate in other sports and activities too - I've never been skiing, and would like to learn; I've played netball before and wouldn't mind having another go with this new running leg (before I used to kind of skip sideways to get down the court fast); I want to get back into swimming in a big way; and, somewhere along the way, I'd like to do some sort of dance to prove to myself that an amputee dancer can be as impressive as any full bodied dancer, if not more in this guy's case!

I'm no Oscar Pistorius, having only been running for a week, but today I rang Wheelchair Sports Victoria, hoping they might have contact details for a sports organisation or group for amputees I could get in touch with, and it turns out that they have an athletics coaching program on once a month, held very close to where I live, for wheelchair and amputee athletics! yay!

So, on the 5th of July, I'll be heading down there to make a fool of myself, have some fun, and get into a sport that in one week has made me so much happier about life, the universe, and everything :)

Good things come in small (reusable) packages

2009-06-17T15:14:00.007+10:00

On my wishlist on the side of this blog there are a number of big ticket items I'd like to get, like a breadmaker, slow cooker, and food processor... I ducked into the Environment Shop the other day and decided to get a little item off of my wishlist - a reusable sandwich wrapper!

These 4MyEarth products come as either a pocket (which I bought) or a wrapper. I can now chuck it in the washing machine and then use it again and again... Yay for a tiny but important reduction in my daily plastic wastage!

Asparagus Rolls (first attempt)

2009-06-17T13:23:00.007+10:00

VERDICT:
- Ok so the puree wasn't perfect, but I still would have expected the finished asparagus rolls to taste better than they did.
- The puree was bland, the wholemeal bread was bland, and the fat free cottage cheese was bland. No surprises then that the finished asparagus rolls tasted... BLAND!
- I tried to season the puree (which pre seasoning was just blended steamed asparagus with some lemon juice) with some salt and pepper, but it went from 'still too bland' after three shakes of the salt shaker, to 'SUPER salty tasting' after four shakes...

SUGGESTIONS/FUTURE CHANGES:
-I'm wondering if some other vegetable or ingredient should be included to add more flavour to the sandwiches, rather than using salt? The tarragon the recipe called for was optional, and as I'm not too keen on the flavour of tarragon I left it out. I doubt tarragon alone is enough to unbland the asparagus rolls entirely, but perhaps next time I could either use the tarragon and try to get used to the flavour, or substitute it for another herb. I wonder what other herbs go with asparagus?
- maybe a better quality wholemeal bread to add more flavour in that department?
- buy a proper rolling pin - a foil roll is not a good substitute lol.
-Maybe I just need to try making these a few more times to perfect the techniques involved - you wouldn't think puree would be hard, but I may have oversteamed the asparagus, overlemoned the asparagus, and in the end oversalted the asparagus *sigh*

Better luck next time!

Boogers-in-Bread (Asparagus Rolls)

2009-06-16T22:16:00.001+10:00

I was planning to blog about my cooking adventures as written about in the last post, but couldn't find my camera battery charger. I was so irritated at not being able to photograph my delightful asparagus rolls, I decided to restart the process again when I could find or buy a new charger... However that never happened because I can't find the bloody charger and can't find where to buy a new one! Anyway, I started the asparagus rolls WITHOUT the camera, which might end up working well if they look crappy.

Tonight I made the asparagus puree and put it in the fridge to chill overnight (asparagus rolls for lunch tomorrow, weeeee!!!!). It didn't taste too bad. A few things though, for next time: the juice of one small lemon is too much, use half instead; try steaming the asparagus spears for a little less time so they retain more flavour; recipe doesn't call for salt and pepper but the puree needed it, in my opinion.

Hopefully by the time I get a working camera happening again, I'll have perfected the asparagus rolls and can put lovely green sandwich images all over the place! I'm planning to have a picnic birthday later in the year, and make all of the food myself... and these yummy little bites will definitely be on the menu!

Hats off to Julie Stafford for using an asparagus puree instead of gross canned spears. Genius.

Julie Stafford's asparagus roll ups (or as I like to call this one, 'Boogers-in-Bread')

2009-06-06T23:36:00.006+10:00

(Makes 10)

INGREDIENTS
- 1 cup asparagus puree (Lightly steam fresh asparagus until tender. Drain. Squeeze over lemon juice. Puree and chill)
- 10 slices wholemeal bread (crusts removed)
- 1/2 cup non fat cottage cheese
- 4 tbsp fresh finely chopped tarragon (optional)

Using a wooden rolling pin, roll out slices of bread until they are very thin. Refrigerate for 30min or longer. Push cottage cheese through a fine sieve. Spread bread slices with cottage cheese, then with asparagus puree. Sprinkle tarragon over the asparagus. Roll bread up, and secure with a small toothpick. Repeat to make 10.

Refrigerate for at least 1 hour, removing toothpick before serving.

Julie Stafford's 'More Taste of Life'

2009-06-06T00:49:00.010+10:00

A random pick off the shelf - mum had a Julie Stafford cookbook or two when I was growing up, so when I saw More Taste of Life at an op shop in Moe, I grabbed it. And, of course, never opened it... until now!

I've challenged myself to pick one of the cookbooks off of my shelf, and make ten recipes from it, documenting my successes and failures here on my blog. I figured starting with a cookbook published in 1985 would be kinda cool.

The first recipe from this book that I've chosen is an exciting one - asparagus rolls! I never ate these in the past because they always looked gross (but then i usually see them with canned asparagus inside them so I'll give this fresher version a try)... I'm going to make them tomorrow to eat while i study chemistry. Good brain food, I hope!

Here are the others nine I'm planning to try soon:
- cabbage and potatoes
- ratatouille
- spinach lasagne slice
- whole fish with shallots
- vegetable shepherd's pie
- corn and vegetable chowder
- garlica whole schnapper
- mushroom and tomato rolls
- tomato and rice slice with rosemary

YUM!!!

Masterchef? Pffft, more like a masterwannabe...

2009-06-05T19:24:00.009+10:00

The science course I'm doing has certainly been keeping me SUPER busy! I've hardly left the house in months... I'm doing chemistry, biology, maths, computers... I was also doing physics, and finished the waves and optics module, but decided to drop the kinematics and dynamics modules so I can focus more on chemistry and biology. I'll pick physics up again when they get to the electricity module because I think that sounds really fun!

There had been two directions I felt I might go in once I had finished this course - nutrition/dietetics, or renewable energy technology. I'm now leaning more strongly toward the nutrition path - I think it's a job that will not only be interesting and challenging, it will also be helpful to the health of myself and my partner (and any kids we have in future).

My interest in food and health has definitely been growing in the last year or so, and my addiction to a new TV reality cooking show called Masterchef is now steering that interest toward the cooking side of things as well as nutritional issues. I don't think it's a good idea to start planning any more education - I've got enough on my plate with an almost-finished arts degree, a begun-but-then-deferred small business certificate, my current science certificate, and a planned nutrition degree with a possible masters in dietetics afterward. Phew! So... I'm going to have to try and teach myself what I can about cooking.

One thing I have lots of is cookbooks - I have bought SO many of them over the last five years or so, and have hardly even looked at them, let alone used them. So here's my plan. I'm going to start making ten recipes from each of them - I'll adapt each to make them suit my palate as well as my energy/vitamin/mineral requirements for that day. As I cook I'll write about the food and post photos of the process and the final product. It'll encourage me to cook, it'll encourage me to post, and it'll encourage me to finally use some of those recipe books, and enjoy the consequences!

Book Review: A World Without Bees

2009-04-17T05:23:00.002+10:00

Alison Benjamin and Brian McCallum shed light on a fascinating (and previously unknown to me) topic: the unexplained, and so far unstoppable, deaths of honeybees around the world in recent years. Some blame viruses, or parasites, or pesticides... other options explored by the authors include the overworking of honeybees and climate change. They don't seem to come down on the side of any particular theory, which is refreshingly objective and allows the reader to draw their own conclusions from the information presented. However, whatever theory readers prefer, in the end we're as much in the dark as the authors, beekeepers, and bee researchers are on this issue.

As much as I enjoyed learning about a new and interesting thing, I was disappointed by the way the book was written. The structuring of the material was incoherent, and was presented so repetitively that the book was very annoying to read in some ways. There was no logical progression from one theory to another, and no helpful collation of information about each theory in one place. Instead it jumped back and forth from one to another, over and over again. It felt like the authors were writing the book in a hurry and hadn't bothered to organise it better, and that they had tried to make it longer than it needed to be by repeating themselves constantly.

So, I would recommend that people read the book because the issue is such a fascinating and important one, but that if anything else on the subject comes out which is clearer and better written, go for that instead. I'll definitely be looking for some more books about bees in general - for example, I want to know more about the 'waggle dance' the bees do to communicate information back to the hive, very cool!

For all its faults, at least this book got my attention - I now know something about the issue of honeybee deaths, and how the world would fare without these important insects. I'm definitely interested in knowing more about what is causing this terrible phenomenon. Hopefully some governments somewhere will realise how serious the problem may get, and throw some money at solving it, because by the sounds of it, it's a bit low on the priority list right now...

Thankyou Sara for being such an inspirational amputee and blogger

2009-04-07T20:01:00.003+10:00

I mentioned earlier tonight that I'd reread a post on tricycling by Sara from Moving Right Along. Just now I decided to see if there were any new posts on her blog, and discovered to my shock and sadness that Sara passed away.

I had only just started reading Sara's blog a few weeks ago, but in her posts she came across as funny, intelligent and inspiring. Her posts about her trike helped me so much with getting the confidence to cycle with one leg. It was also her Jan 09 post about the different colour of her new leg that inspired me to ask my prosthetist to laminate some brightly coloured cloth to the socket of my new leg. Thankyou Sara.

May you rest in peace.

an awesomely active amputee...

2009-04-07T19:31:00.004+10:00

Just found a blog called http://activeamputee.blogspot.com/, brilliant stuff! The guy writing it, Michael, has had his leg amputated recently and yet manages to rock climb, bushwalk, swim, mountain climb - you name it. For a lazy sod of an amputee who's exercised little in fourteen years, this is a very inspiring, motivating blog to read!

A spot of bother!

2009-04-07T19:15:00.000+10:00

After cycling to and from TAFE in morning and afternoon peak hour traffic yesterday, I wanted to know if I was alone in feeling like amputee trike riding might turn into a high contact sport if I'm not careful. I may need to adjust a few spots on the route... Anyway, I was rereading Sara from Moving Right Along's account of riding her tricycle, and something she said really jumped out at me, as it's exactly what I've been experiencing as I ride on the road.

Says Sara, 'I have a couple of minor complaints/adjustments to make. First of all, it is really a freakin' pain in the backside to get my left foot into the toe clip and also have that pedal properly positioned, near the top of the rotation but just slightly forward, to start off from a stopped position while facing uphill at a stoplight or stop sign. This is especially frustrating when people in cars are waiting for me, with both politeness and fear evident on their puzzled faces. It would help if the weight of the toe clip did not force the pedal to hang vertically forward by default, meaning I have to get very tricky with my toes to slip them into the basket and not flip the pedal over at the same time.'

This very thing has been driving me nuts, especially because motorists and other cyclists don't know what the hell I'm up to as I sit there for ages trying to get my foot into the pedal or get the bike started while on a slope. Aagh!

I'm seriously considering getting a little disabled sign made for my trike's basket so that those behind me can see that I have a good reason for having a wee bit of trouble occasionally. Or something like 'Amputee on board' or 'Three wheels, one leg'...

I'm a big kid now...

2009-04-04T23:15:00.001+11:00

Today I rode my bicycle out of the apartment block, for the first time. No more circles around the apartment block carparks - I rode on the footpath till I got to a nearby park, then rode around and around that damn park until I felt safe and comfortable on the trike, and finally I rode home using the road.

Best. Feeling. Ever.

Penders Park, where I first rode my shiny new trike!

Later in the day, Mum came over and we rode the route that I'll be taking to TAFE each weekday from now on. I was having trouble with getting the bike started using the prosthesis when my feet were in a particular position and I was on a slope facing upward - it may just be that the muscles in the stump are not up to the challenge yet - but Mum pointed out that I could move the pedals backward without moving the bike (can't do the same thing forward), so if I rotated my feet backward to the position I could start the bike from, it'd work. It's still slow, and sometimes I had to move the pedals back two or three times to get the amount of push I needed to get the trike moving, but it's surely better than being completely stuck, in traffic, unable to get moving on the trike at all.

All in all I did about three hours of riding today. I'm sore and exhausted but I feel so happy that I now have a way of independently travelling around that is faster than walking but more environmentally and financially friendly than driving.

I'll let you know how the first week of cycling to TAFE goes... I wonder if I'll be riding every day or if that'll be too much!

look out for landmines... careful of clusterbombs...

2009-04-04T10:56:00.001+11:00

Today is International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action. This is an issue that encompasses war and violence against civilians, disability and the loss of limbs, and internation co-operation and action (or lack of) and it's something I feel very strongly about.

It's bad enough that people lose legs in car accidents and to cancer, but for innocent civilians to be losing limbs for no reason except that other countries have used disgusting weapons in their area that last long after wars finish, and because the international community lacks the willpower to a) ban the further use of these weapons and b) clear those that are still in the ground. The UN is trying to achieve these things, but in terms of the rest of the international political world *insert sarcasm here* it's not like people being blown up or limbs being blown off is on a par with important issues like the global economy and the G20 conference...

Anyway, the UN have a site called http://www.mineaction.org/, but if you don't have time to go there, here's a snippet of what they're saying there: "With high level interest in the new Convention on Cluster Munitions, the innovative Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities and an upcoming review conference on the groundbreaking Anti-Personnel Landmine Convention in Colombia later this year, worldwide efforts to remove landmines and explosive remnants of war are at the top of the United Nations agenda... The joint effort by mine-affected countries, the United Nations and mine action partner organizations to clear mines, provide mine risk education services and destroy stockpiles has contributed to a reduction in the annual number of new casualties from landmines and explosive remnants of war to about 5,500—down nearly 75 percent from a high of 26,000 in 1997."

For more info on cluster bombs, see the wikipedia article - according to www.clusterconvention.org, the Convention on Cluster Munitions (CCM) "prohibits all use, stockpiling, production and transfer of Cluster Munitions". Cluster munitions are banned for any nations that ratify this Convention, which was adopted in Ireland in May last year, and was signed by 94 nations in December last year in Oslo, Norway. There have been recent controversial cases (or allegations) of clusterbombs being used by the Russians in Georgia, Israelis in Lebanon, Hezbollah in Israel, and Sri Lanka against the Tamils. For more info about the anti-clusterbomb campaign, see http://www.clusterbombs.org - according to this website, between 5 and 30% (sometimes up to 40%) of the bomblets used in cluster bombs do not explode on impact, causing future harm to those who happen to come into contact with them in the days, weeks, months or years after the bombs are dropped. According to www.clusterbombs.org, "children represent 27% of the victims of non-exploded submunition bombs. Attracted by their bright colors, children sometimes mistake them for food rations or toys."

Evil stuff.

Space versus location...

2009-04-04T01:44:00.002+11:00

I always wanted to own a home... at fifteen I drove by a big property in Apollo Bay - a rambling old house on a large piece of land in a place called Wild Dog Rd. I still remember the road, the land, the house on it, and all I did was see it from a car nearly ten years ago as my parents drove by it. Later, when we got back to Melbourne, I remember that I rang the real estate agent pretending to be an adult interested in buying the house, and got them to send information about the property to me. I remember thinking at the time: I have fallen in love with this place. When I'm older I have to come back here and buy something like this, somewhere like this. I cried because I wasn't a grown up with enough money to but it then. It seems incredibly overdramatic now, but that was genuinely how I felt at the time. I wonder if part of its appeal was that it was a ten minute drive from the beaches, the cafes, the people in the town part of Apollo Bay, but once you drove into Wild Dog Rd you immediately felt as though you were in rugged country. I wonder whether it's still the same.

Anyway, that longwinded and sentimental bit of my childhood crept back into my memory today when I was pondering the country-vs-regional-vs-suburban-vs-inner city property question - Bertie and I are cautiously looking at places to buy at the moment. We love being close to the city, but we also want space (especially a decent sized backyard). I'd like to grow most of our fruit and vegetables, and for our future children to have space to run around and play and grow in... but it's all about space vs location. We can't really have it both ways, unless we compromise on one in some way. I'm worried that whatever side we err on, I'll find a way to regret not erring to the other.

I think I have this paradisical vision of a garden full of luscious healthy food, waiting to be picked and eaten, but I wonder if I will actually find - no, make - the time in my life for something like full-on-food-production-gardening. Am I being too idealistic? Romantic? I wonder about the other plans I'd like to implement too, plans revolving around ideas of self sufficiency and sustainability. How does being in an apartment, or unit, or house affect my plans for these things? How likely am I to follow through and stick to these plans?

Anyway, a bit of a boring post but it needed to be gotten off of my chest. We'll see what happens.

Insomnia induced internet-window shopping

2009-03-31T00:51:00.009+11:00

Tried to sleep post-Bertie-leaving but no luck so far so I'm up to try and get tired by doin stuff...

So I spent my time finding these on 'Amputeehee' and I really really want them! My empty bank account says no, so I'm waitin till payday (and a budget which will probably still say no):

Haha! Why didn't I think of getting amputee related tshirt humour happening sooner? I have the gay tshirts sporting slogans like 'Queer: don't knock it till you've tried it' and 'Every time you see a rainbow, God's having gay sex', but amputee humour? Eeeeexcellent. Now all I need is a queer amputee tshirt.

On another site here I found these:

Hell yes. I think that's going to be my clothing budget for the next year!

P.S. I'm starting to think of some of my own tshirt slogans I could do:

- 'I visited cancer and all I got was this lousy leg'

- 'I think amputees are alright, but then again I haven't got a leg to stand on'

- 'Amputee benefit #32: less body parts to shave'

- 'See my limp? Yep, I'm a gimp'

- 'I may not have two legs but I can still kick your arse, so stop staring'

- 'My hair grew back. I'm still waiting on the leg.'

And my favourite, for when I'm out on my shiny new tricycle:

- 'Dyke on a trike'

Emotional eating - time to 'fess up, then move forward

2009-03-30T22:13:00.006+11:00

Today, Bertie went back to WA for work. Just after she left, I skipped the second half of TAFE - a subject I love, biology - to sit at home sniffling and whining, and changing channels like a daytime TV addict on crack.

Meanwhile I devoured three quarters of a block of organic fair trade chocolate, three cans of coke (plus started on a 1.25l), two slices of greasy pizza, nearly a whole garlic bread, and a quarter of a tub of Maggie Beer's Burnt Fig Jam Honeycomb and Caramel Icecream.

Obviously not my best post-Bertie-leaving-day. Other times she's left I've managed to get myself to TAFE, finish assignments, do chores and even eat a healthy tea. What's different this time?

I think I'm losing motivation to lose weight, which is ridiculous because after losing a fabulous TWELVE kilos and feeling happy and (almost) healthy, I have now stacked back on about four. Why spend all that money on weight watchers and go through all that hard work to eat healthily and exercise, if I just stack it straight back on again? The slump in my motivation to lose weight means I'm quick to allow myself 'a night off' from the regime when Bertie leaves. And not just a night off, but a night where I eat my way through every bit of junk I can find/buy.

Note to self: the pizza-garlicbread-icecream-coke-chocolate binge night left you feeling sick, bloated and unhappy. Maybe this is a good thing, as it might help you reassess the way things are going in your journey to lose weight, get fit, and feel good about your body. Remember how healthy you started feeling when you were on track? Get back to that place!!! Forgive yourself for tonight, and then move on to better things tomorrow...

P.S. Don't EVER try and use Dr Phil to solve your problems. NEVER, do you hear me? I'd rather you eat three pizzas and four tubs of icecream and five litres of coke. Just no more Dr Phil!

Gettin' around...

2009-03-29T18:49:00.006+11:00

As you can see from the previous post, I enjoyed my first (teensy) riding experience today: a few laps around our apartment block's carpark. Heaven! Dwayne came for a little ride but quickly decided he preferred to walk. Bertie watched and took photos - I felt like a big silly kid with my streamers and bell and little tiny laps around and around, but that's a happy big silly kid right there. A great day for me :D

I found I could use my prosthesis while riding - a few times I stalled and couldn't seem to use the leg to push the pedal down, but the more laps I did the less this happened. We'll see what happens when I get out and about a little more...

Speaking of getting out and about, Bertie and I had a super duper busy week, particularly the weekend part of it that we just got back from: a friend's place for morning tea (she served up some very yummy homemade banana bread, and homemade hummus, both of which I need the recipe for!) then down to Phillip Island for a night of fun birthday shenanigans with a friend (where we celebrated Earth Hour, which I'll blog more about soon), and finally a triple-birthday BBQ in Moe today. We've only just got back to Melbourne!

Obviously I couldn't ride my tricycle from Melbourne to Phillip Island to Moe and back again, so Bertie and I took the car...

Those who know me well know that I have been on my learner license for a LONG time (lots of reasons - extreme nervousness in cars & regular car crash nightmares don't help the situation) but Bertie has been trying to help remedy this. We've occasionally had some lessons, but because of my reluctance they were always too spaced apart. Bertie even bought me some RACV driving lessons for Christmas that I'm yet to use.

Anyway, this weekend there was obviously a lot of driving to be done, and the wonderous, wonderful Bertie convinced me to drive from Elwood to the corner of Springvale and Wellington rd. It was a nervous and stressful half hour, but we both survived. I didn't want to get on the freeway, so Bertie drove the rest of the way to Phillip Island. Then I surprised myself by agreeing to drive from Phillip Island to Moe today. The entire two hour drive. I started out stressed and panicky, but by the end of the two hours I felt a new confidence in myself and in my driving. There were still certain situations - like the first drive on a freeway - which freaked me out, but I learnt, finally, not to panic and lose my cool in these sorts of situations! I even confronted my fear of driving through tunnels and over bridges (though my hands tended to hurt afterwards from gripping the steering wheel so hard, haha).

Despite being exhausted by the day in Moe, I even suggested I drive us back to Melbourne. I did, and the feeling I experienced as I pulled into our carpark at home was one of deep happiness. I feel I have conquered a big hurdle: the massive nervousness. I even started to enjoy myself on the drive home. Now I just need to improve my technique and put in the practice to get my hours up. Next step - now that Bertie is going back to work interstate - is to get those RACV lessons happening soon so I don't lose that confidence.

I hope soon to be able to walk and run on my new leg (coming soon), ride around on my shiny new tricycle, and drive around in Bertie's car when I have to. Welcome to 2009, the year of Jess' multiple transportation initiations :)

My first bike (or technically 'trike') ride, aged 24

2009-03-29T18:05:00.007+11:00

Bikey goodness for melbourne

2009-03-24T22:44:00.003+11:00

I've been reading this newspaper article about the Victorian state government's new bike strategy - 23new bike paths in 18 months, some linking up of existing bike tracks, 33 bike cages at train stations around Melbourne, and apparently even some safe cycling programs in schools and a "look out for cyclists" campaign. Cool.

According to this article, the plan will also mean Vicroads will have to consider bike paths as part of any new major roads project. Hell yeah! As someone who's about to start getting around on a tricycle, I'm pretty keen to know where the existing bike paths are, and what new options there will be in the future.

One ride I'm keen to do (once I get my trike and get comfy riding it) is the Capital City Trail, a 32km loop around Melb city, going by sights like the zoo, Yarra Bend park, Merri creek, Yarra river, Alexandra Gardens, and the MCG...

An 'insight' into childhood obesity

2009-03-24T20:19:00.009+11:00

I'm watching tonight's 'Insight' program on SBS, and am finding it fascinating.

I wish I'd seen all of the episode (I was watching RSPCA rescue before I realised this program was on, and had been tearing up big time at a story about a kitten stuck in a car for two days that had been driven around and even crashed. Thankfully he was ok).

Anyway, back to Insight. I'm so impressed by what I've seen. I love that this show is bringing together industry members, academics, dietitians, 'normal' members of public, government, and the fabulous chef/fresh food activist Stephanie Alexander. The members of the food industry made me feel annoyed or skeptical a lot of the time, but it was good to hear what they had to say. I did feel that Jenny Brockie was quite tough on them, and that the right questions were asked within the time constraints of the show.

There was a lot of talk about various ways of listing nutritional information on packaging, which was fascinating - I liked the traffic light system they described because it's easy to understand and quick to read when you're facing a number of choices at a supermarket. However, it was Stephanie Alexander's comment that if you eat fresh, seasonal food then in her opinion, no food is bad whether it be a bit of real butter or some creme freche. Very interesting, as I like to think this but I do eat a lot of low fat processed foods since I started weight watchers.

The most impressive audience member, in my opinion, was Professor Boyd Swinburn from Deakin University. I'll be making a decision at the end of this year about whether to go to Deakin or Monash to study nutrition and dietetics, so it was interesting to see someone involved in the Deakin program in action. According to the Deakin website, "Professor Swinburn leads a research program in the area of obesity prevention, especially in childhood and adolescence", and he certainly seemed passionate and knowledgeable about this issue.

Apparently you can watch reruns online so I'll be doing that as soon as it's available and making some more detailed commentary about what various people on the show said.

The other fantastic aspect of the Insight website is that after each show, some of the guests are available to chat. I am doing this right now - I asked Clare Collins, a dietitian and consultant on the Biggest Loser - "Hi, I wanted to ask Clare how she got into dietetics, and what advice she'd have for someone wanting to get into this career themselves?" She hasn't answered me specifically yet, but she did write a message to someone else saying, "I love my profession! It is the only thing I wanted to do since age 14. Within Dietetics I have changed directions many times from working in hospitals, doing research, teaching university students, working with the media and consulting to TV show. There is a lot of science in dietetics and a lot of education but if you love working with people you will love it."

It's the ability to change direction within a career that really makes or breaks it for me, I think. I am the most changeable, indecisive person and I need to put myself into new environments and situations regularly to feel happy and stimulated. I hope that the fact that a dietitian can work in government, industry, private practice, hospitals, consultancy, research, teaching etc might mean that I can move around within my career as the years go by to stay challenged and interested.

*yay* since i wrote the above para, Clare Collins has replied to my question, saying: "when I did dietetics you used to have to do a science degree THEN another course BUT now you can go straight into a university course from year 12. It does help if you have done chemistry because you do a lot in the first 2 years of the course. My advice is that if you are keen to do it apply and go from there. Most jobs are still in ospitals helping people who have medical condition modify their food intake so they can improve their health but the areas where more jobs are becoming available is in working with different companies and in private practice." Thanks Clare! I'm glad to hear there's lots of chemistry involved in the dietetics courses as it's one of my favourite subjects at TAFE at the moment.

Phew! What a mammoth post. As I said, I'll write more when I've seen the full episode online :)

Zeroing in on the problem...

2009-03-21T12:56:00.009+11:00

Still failing on the coke front *sigh*

I'm not only failing to give it up, but I've been drinking about two cans of coke zero PER DAY since I tried giving soft drink up for a second time. What is wrong with me? I'm wondering if the old reverse psychology thing's at work here - since I told myself I couldn't have it, my desire for it has increased tenfold.

I've also started doing the whole 'oh but I'm studying so hard, I'll have one now and then once I've got these three assignments in, I can focus on giving it up properly...' Totally pissweak. If I can't resist it when I'm studying hard, I doubt I'll stop letting myself off the hook when I'm working hard or parenting hard.

I think I'm going to take down the counter, stop obsessing, and try to let it happen a bit more naturally and gradually. Maybe focus on reducing the frequency again. Obviously the hard line isn't working for me here.

>:(

P.S. just found this site called The Zero Movement - maybe this'll help motivate me a bit? It also led me to this site...

Inspired and excited...

2009-03-19T19:11:00.005+11:00

I went and paid for my gomier tricycle today!!! Should be able to pick it up in about a week *growing excitement*

I was trying to find some other amputees online who ride trikes, and lo and behold I found Sara who just sounds so inspiring and had lots of helpful info for me as I build up to my first bike riding days in fourteen years *ridiculously frenzied excitement*

First, she listed some links to site's about amputees who ride bicycles (not tricycles, bicycles). Put me to shame. But I'm not going to even think about a bicycle right now, I'm nervous enough about the trike. Maybe that's a goal for later when I'm a total free-wheelin, three-wheelin hoon.

I almost got sad when I saw how pretty Sara's blue trike looked - I ended up choosing the red today after being sure all the way to the shop that I was getting blue. Damn libran personality. But though Sara's is pretty, I hope the red will make me a bit more noticeable to the cars around me (because the bright white helmet, the flourescent vest, and the multitude of lights won't do that...)

While Sara wears her prosthetic leg while riding she doesn't use it. I wondered if I could take the leg off and put it in the basket and then put it on at my destination (usually tafe) but like Sara I've realised that would mean putting the leg on in public places and, while I'm a known seeker of attention, it would mean sharing more of myself with the general public than I care to. So it's either wear the leg and don't use it, or wear it and put it to work. When I tested the bike out in the shop's small yard, my prosthetic leg seemed capable of pushing the wheel, but the muscles I was using were weak and after a few minutes started screaming at me to stop 'fourteen years! we were quite happy wasting away here, so leave us in peace to die already, biatch!'). If I want to use the prosthesis to ride, I might have to do some muscle-building excercises for the back of my stump.

After reading Sara's comment, "I'm still trying to decide whether or not to get streamers for the handlebars, or plastic daisies for the rear basket", I have suddenly got all kinds of silly ideas for decorative features swirling around my head, and I haven't even got the trike yet! *jumping-up-and-down excitement with a little mouth-frothing for added effect*

Actually, while writing this post I've started reading some of the rest of Sara's blog and am quite excited by the awesomeness of the current post about her GORGEOUS 'grape popsicle' coloured leg! As someone who has been an amputee for fourteen years but is only now starting to get informed so I can start being involved in decision-making processes about my leg and my health, Sara's creatively designed prosthesis certainly gave me something to think about!

"Riding around on my pushbike honey, when I noticed you... you looked so pretty when you were riding aloo-oooo-ooong"

2009-03-13T00:04:00.008+11:00

Once again study has prevented me from blogging as regularly as I'd like... but I have two really positive transport/mobility developments in the last week:

1. Fantastic new prosthetist, and soon a new leg and some physio sessions!
- It seems I'll be getting an energy returning foot, I think it'll be the 1C30 Trias from Otto Bock - my long term goal is to be able to jog and run (it is apparently very difficult for above knee amputees, but we'll see... I'm pretty determined)
- I have a pretty awesome knee but don't really know how to use to its full potential, such as being able to walk up and down stairs more normally; hoping to learn this with the physio.

2. Gomier Adult Tricycle
- I saw a guy riding one of these around thornbury and knew I had to have one! I haven't ridden a bike for fourteen years, so I went to test one out at the Melbourne Bicycle Centre in Clifton Hill today, and it was fantastic!
- Using my government's stimulus package handout to buy it :D
- I have to decide between red or blue... I'm leaning toward red at the moment.

Both of these will be good for my health as I can exercise while doing something I'd be doing anyway (getting from A to B) instead of having to take time out of my busy life to go to the gym etc. Both will also be great for my environmental and sustainable living goals, as my hope is that unless I'm going really far away, I will be able to get to most places by walking, jogging, running, or cycling. Hell yeah!

too many lits spoil the broth

2009-03-07T03:28:00.002+11:00

I've been studying math, biology, chemistry and physics as part of the Certificate IV Science Bridging course at NMIT for a while now and I love it, but with my off-campus literature studies at Deakin at the same time it's all getting a bit much already! I might need to drop one of the semester's lit subjects, though I'm loathe to lose any of them as they all look really interesting. We'll see how I go...

My plan is to get in a nutrition/dietetics course once I've finished this science certificate, though I'm keeping my mind and my options open for now, as I might find something within the four subjects that I love and want to keep studying. Right now I'm feeling pretty turned on by chemistry. My last biology class was pretty amazing too. I can understand and keep up with math and physics (so far!) but they're not as interesting to me yet. It may take time to get a passion happening for them. Today, at least, I really enjoyed the prac we did in physics, which was about the law of reflection.

My feeling is that some of my sustainable living goals I had for the year - learning to sew, cooking more often and more healthily, and learning to live a more environmentally friendly life - may have trouble vying for my time between science and literature. I always do plan too much for each year, and end up feeling overwhelmed. I think if I manage to think about and try to gradually change some of my ways, it'll be easier to fit it all in with the study.

I'm thinking, maybe, of setting aside a few hours each sunday to cook 1 meal type to freeze for the week (eg a vegetable slice, pasta sauce, soup, stew, lasagne etc) and 1 type of snack to have over the week (eg muffins, yoghurt, cake, dips, muesli bars, biscuits etc).

I think learning to sew will depend on making time with friends who do sew to get a bit of help. This, I have discovered, is a hard thing to organise with my busy life and my friends' busy lives. Oh well it's a long term goal.

As for a more environmentally friendly, ethical lifestyle, I am just focusing on reducing water usage until I'm under the government's target of 155 litres per person per day, learning to use my bokashi bin, giving up chocolate except for maya gold fair trade, and cleaning my house chemical free.

Ooh we have a house inspection next weekend - it'll be interesting to see how well my chemical free cleaning does in getting the place spick and span!

>:I

2009-03-04T20:46:00.003+11:00

Gah! have had two more coke zeros in the last two days. What is wrong with me? I know it's rotting my teeth, I know it's not good for my system, so why would I keep drinking it? I refuse to accept this ridiculous addiction to a not-even-all-that-tasty bottle of liquid poison.

In other news, using my towel two (gasp!) whole days in a row is going well, though I haven't used the shower bucket yet and I even shaved my legs yesterday while under running water because it was 'too cold' to turn the hot water off (where's the guts? I'm sure I used to have guts). Tsk tsk. Come on, it can't be that hard to be good can it?

Goals for tomorrow, Thursday March 5:
- NO COKE, 1 coffee allowed in the morning
- remember to get the bucket out for my shower
- pack a healthy, filling lunch so I don't go to the cafeteria and
a) spend money i don't have and
b) gaze lovingly at bottles of coke I can't drink

Rotting food, sugary drinks, and too many towels to wash

2009-02-28T07:40:00.004+11:00

So much for that post about the bokashi bin that never happened. Not that anyone's reading this blog, but I'm slipping on a lot of fronts so I need to 'fess up and stay accountable to myself here.

My beautiful bokashi bin finally arrived and I have set it up... so far all good in terms of there being no noticeable smell, but I'm giving it a few weeks of fermentation to see if that changes. One problem I've had is that it's bigger than I expected, which means it doesn't fit nicely into my kitchen. I've been experimenting with other places to put it, and for the moment it's on the dining room table - not the best and most guest-friendly place for a bucket of rotting food :S

In other news I've not only been having many many soft drinks, I've also had quite a bit of coke in the last two weeks particularly. BAD Jess. It got to the point where it was too many to be able to remember them all to put on my soft drink counter. I'm pretty mad at myself, but I'm making a new start today, which is all I can do. So from today: only water and tea, with the occasional fruit juice, coffee, or soda water with a dash of cordial. I decided the occasional coffee will be ok, as long as it's fair trade and organic (the reason I'm allowing myself this naughty caffeine drink is that on the days where I absolutely cannot stay awake, I'm finding myself giving in to getting coke - or worse, an energy drink - so I can make it through the day. If I allow myself A FEW coffees each week, maybe it'll be easier to resist the other evils...?)

My showers have been creeping past the 4min point, so SLAP on my wrist. I'm sitting at about 6-8min now, and there's NO excuse now that I have my beautiful little timer in the shower. Time to recommit to that, especially seeing as the last water bill told me I'm using 192 litres PER DAY, which is way under the government's personal target for each person of 155 litres. Hmm.

One thing that really annoys me is that our rental property only has a full flush toilet. It's a shame, because apparently about 20% of a home's water is flushed down the toilet so there's huge water saving potential there. I doubt there's any chance the landlord would put in a new toilet for rental tenants (?) so I'll just have to focus on other water saving tactics...

1. actually start using my shower bucket, and try flushing the toilet with this when I have got enough buckets worth (I've heard you can do this but have never tried flushing the loo without pressing the flush button... we'll see)

2. be strict with myself again about having 4min showers

3. Shave my legs BEFORE I have the shower so I can just rinse the soap off under the running water when I do start my shower

4. Guilty confession time... I usually use a different towel every day. What the? So, try to use towels for more than 1 day so I don't end up washing a load of towels every week

OK I think that's enough for now. I'll let you know how that all goes.

Honey I'm home

2009-02-22T16:53:00.002+11:00

Hi, it's been ages since I posted, mainly because I got fabulously distracted by Bertie coming home from her work interstate for just over a week. And then less fabulously distracted by the inevitable slump in my feelings and motivation levels when she went back again *sigh*

I'm off to an event tonight but I promise to try (who am I promising it to? I don't have any readers... oh well I'll promise it to myself) to resume my normal post-every-day-or-two schedule. I even know what I'll blog about... my bokashi bin that arrived on friday! yeah!

Maya Gold Chocolate

2009-02-14T03:12:00.004+11:00

Green and Black's Maya Gold Chocolate - organic and fair trade!!!

According to the Green & Black's website, "in 1994, while Jo and Craig were vacationing in Belize, they discovered how local cocoa farmers were being harmed by decreasing cocoa prices. They agreed to pay the farmers a fair price for their crops and created the flavor of Maya Gold®, which was inspired by the ancient Kukuh drink traditionally enjoyed by the Mayan farmers. This way of doing business didn't seem different to them - it just seemed right and came naturally – and in the process, the Maya Gold brand earned the UK's first Fairtrade mark."

Did it taste good (unlike the fairtrade chocolate I tried last year)? Hell yeah :)

I know what I'll be eating lots of now that 'normal' chocolate is off the menu!

Eco kiddie film - five stars from me!

2009-02-13T22:38:00.000+11:00

Bertie and I finally watched WALL-E tonight, and it was magical. A great main storyline (how can a romance between robots be so emotional and compelling?), a great message about the meaning in our lives, the world we live in and on, the environment and our relationship to it, and the beauty and importance of connections between beings, whether they be human or robot or cockroach.

This film ends up being extremely uplifting and hopeful - a great choice for a family flick to sit down and watch together. I think this film would provide a good starting point for some parents to converse with their children (or children with their parents?) about environmental issues. It'd also be a great one for primary or secondary school kids to watch and discuss in class.

There were some amazing images in the film that really stayed with me - the skyscrapers WALL-E makes from rubbish blew me away; I thought they were a great way to conceptualise the link between development and 'progress', and waste/rubbish/excess in our world. To begin a 'children's film' with an Earth that has been abandoned due to pollution, rubbish and toxicity is a very powerful thing, and I think Pixar handles it well in that it has an impact without being too overwhelming or depressing. The loveable WALL-E characer (and the romantic storyline) certainly balance out the potentially doom-and-gloom-ish beginning.

Another image that stays with me is that of a plant, a bit of green, in a world that is mostly dead and brown. To see a small green thing being sought after, protected, cherished... another great way into conversations and lines of thought around the environment. What do we value? Why do we value it? What would it take for us to value environmental assets as well as, or even instead of, financial ones?

A lovely movie for kids, an even lovelier movie for adults. I must admit to a bit of a film cry, though that could come down to my being a wee bit exhausted and emotional. Who knows.

If you happen to get the extras on the dvd, watch the two shorts. The one about the BURN-E robot is gold, and is a lovely complementary storyline to the main film.

The best Pixar film yet, in my opinion. Five stars from me.

excellent experiences with my easy easiyo

2009-02-10T21:03:00.003+11:00

My nieces and I made banana yoghurt in my new easiyo yoghurt maker - YUM! Mixed with a little honey, the yoghurt initially got a big tick of approval from both children... until one found out that I'd added the honey and changed her mind: "I just don't like it anymore!" So cute. I remember thinking my dad's pumpkin scones were delicious until I found out the secret ingredient was pumpkin ;)

My serve, in the photo above, has a teaspoon of honey drizzled over the top, and a small handful of blueberries on the side. Soooo good. Better than the stuff from the shops, too. Once I've finished the banana yoghurt in my fridge, I'm going to try the plain unsweetened skim yoghurt again (without the super lumpy effect I hope!).

Victoria's hottest day...

2009-02-08T16:07:00.004+11:00

Phew, what a busy, crazy few days. I've been so busy having fun I haven't had time to blog! It was great to see some really good friends; it was also lovely to go swimming and escape the 46 degree weather for a while! It was such a relief when the cool change came through - I really appreciated it properly after the heat. My favourite weather is twenty degrees or so with a bit of drizzle to enjoy without getting drenched... lol I'm not fussy, am I? It rained today, and when I got home, I just stood outside my apartment for ten minutes enjoying the feel of cool water on my skin.

On a more serious note, I feel absolutely terrible for all of the people who lost loved ones or property or both in the fires yesterday - Bertie and I were very sad to hear that 80% of Marysville - a town we visited recently and loved - has been destroyed. We were also worried about family we have in Gippsland of course. We heard of this site where you can give money to a relief fund for Gippsland victims of the fires, so we're going to be giving a donation.

I gotta go see my supplier...

2009-02-03T22:52:00.004+11:00

So I just found out that there's an Environment Shop round the corner from me! Very exciting news, though I'm a bit disappointed I didn't know sooner as I could have got my bokashi bin from them. Instead it's using greenhouse gases getting sent to me. At least I hope it's getting sent to me, it hasn't arrived yet. Oh well at least I can get my bokashi refill bags from the Environment Shop, which is exciting!

http://www.environmentshop.com.au/

They sent me a catalogue, and there were SO many delightful things in there. Must... control... spending! I am not allowed to buy the remote controlled power switches, the real beer handmade shampoo bar, the staple-less stapler OR the every drop shower saver. No more buying stuff until the end of the year. Hehe.

One of the exciting (but certainly not necessary... now) things I saw was the BabyBeeHinds fitted cloth nappies - I knew I'd have to use cloth nappies when I had kids, but always hated the idea of trying to fold them into one like an origami and then try not to stab them as you get the safety pins in place *shudder* - fitted cloth nappies? Great invention :)

Apparently the Environment Shop also stocks the stuff I recently bought from Ripple, a business in Melbourne that sell water saving stuff. Cool.

OK time to leave the blogging and finish reading my chocolate book...

*Oh btw, the other day I was reading the 'About Ripple' section of their website and found this juicy, appealing bit of information about them:
"Currently, we choose 100% GreenPower from our energy provider, offer secure bicycle parking for staff, and insist on the reusing, recycling and composting of waste where appropriate. When required to print, our paper is recycled and sourced locally. We participate in a car share rather than owning a company car. Staff are encouraged to contribute to office initiatives regarding the sustainability of all our operations."

Hell yeah.

Lumpy (but yummy!) yoghurt, and my epic ethic sagas continued...

2009-02-03T19:06:00.021+11:00

What a wonderful trip to Moe! Absolutely lovely spending time with family, and seeing my nieces head off to school/kinder. We also went to one of their swimming lessons; the children were so cute, and so courageous as they learnt to handle the water. I couldn't believe how confidently some of them - all of about 3 or 4 years old - jumped from the side of the pool into the water. I could actually see myself enjoying going to swimming lessons with some kids of my own and watching them encounter water for the first time! Boy did that day make me feel clucky :)

The yogurt the girls and I made was yummy with a teaspoon of sugar sprinkled over it, and a strawberry cut up. It probably didn't even need the sugar, but it helped make it go down easier, especially because it looked a bit gross - the whey had separated from the rest (as I expected it to do) but the yoghurt itself looked firm and set and yummy... the guide said to stir the whey back in as it is apparently nutritious. This I did, only to find that stirring the yoghurt made it very lumpy looking. I might look into the whole whey issue and see if other people drain it off instead of stirring it back in - I prefer non-lumpy yoghurt, and even my niece took a look at it and decided against it, so it might be something to work on perfecting before I serve it up to guests!

Still, the taste was good so I feel emboldened to try again... as soon as I get another easiyo (I gave the other one to my A.S.I.L, whose daughters LOVE yoghurt, so they should get plenty of use out of it!). It's nice to know there'll be someone I know out there making yoghurt that'll understand when I whinge about whey and lumps, and who I can point to when other people accuse me of being a strange and solitary freak ;)

In other news, the grace period for soft drink is over - I have read up a bit on the fructose issue, and from what I can tell some scientists don't think it's the leading reason for weight gain and obesity but that it is one of many serious factors, while others think fructose is the devil incarnate when it comes to the spread of obesity in the U.S. particularly. I found enough to worry me; after I read up a bit on the effects of sugary drinks on teeth as well I mentally put my foot down. I am suitably motivated to give up sweet fizzy stuff, ESPECIALLY seeing as I seem to be slipping back into coke drinking (two cans in two days ugh) and want to nip that nasty habit in the bud again before it turns into a fully blown caffeine addiction a second time. Last time I gave coke up (cold turkey) I got the shakes, headaches and extreme grumpiness for a few days. I can't believe some parents let their kids drink that stuff *shudder*

I now have a 'Soft Drink Confessions' count happening on the side of my blog, where I'll count the amount of soft drink cups/cans I drink, and what percentage of them are coke. Hopefully neither number will creep up from now on, but at least if they do I'll know I have to confess them here.

Another thing that happened over the last two days was that I got some reading done (it happens when you take the train to the country. Awesome.) I'm nearly finished reading Bitter Chocolate by Carol Off, and it's a shocking read. As in, the things Carol Off writes about are shocking, not the writing itself. It's actually very well written (when am I going to find one in my must-read pile that isn't? Surely it's time for a tear-it-to-shreds book review?). I was horrified -though admittedly, not that surprised- by her accounts of slavery and human rights abuses in the chocolate industry's past. Much more shocking was that it is still going on, in one form or another, today! And with children! I can't believe that children are exploited and abused to make the west's favourite (legal) addictive treat. Horrible, horrible stuff to read, and very eye opening. I can't believe that this is the first I'm hearing about it, though I've seen plenty of 'fair trade' chocolate around the place these days and had an inkling that all may not be well with my cherry ripes and milky ways. Amazing how I subconsciously 'decided' not to research it before now.

I think another ban might be in order, or at least a selective one. I just got home and had a look through my kitchen: for someone on weight watchers I sure have a lot of chocolate lying around or hiding away! I think, to prevent wastage of food I've already bought, I'll have a rule that I'm allowed to finish/give away any chocolate that's in my kitchen now, but not buy any new chocolate UNLESS it's fair trade stuff. I also won't offend friends and family by rejecting any chocolate I'm given as a gift, but I'll make it known that I'm changing over to the more ethical variety (I've told Mum tonight, but she always buys us fair trade choccy for presents anyway, go Mum!). This might mean that I have to get off my butt and learn how to use chocolate in cooking so I can transform fair trade blocks of chocolate into versions of some of my favourite chocolate treats - ice magic to go on ice cream (it might have to be more like chocolate sauce), lamingtons, chocolate covered turkish delight, and cherry ripes. I'm sure I can come up with some tasty (and probably healthier) alternatives. Hmmm maybe instead of cherry ripes I could do fresh cherries and strawberries dipped in melted fair trade chocolate. YUM!

Mum told me tonight that she'd like to read the Carol Off book, especially because she might be doing some stuff around fair trade chocolate with her students this year, which is just fantastic :D

Mix one truck, one soft drink, a litre of homemade yoghurt and a trip to Moe... to make an eventually awesome day :)

2009-02-02T17:35:00.000+11:00

I'm in Moe today with my A.S.I.L for one niece's first day of school and the other niece's first day of four year old kindy! I'm having a great time :)

My nieces and I used the easiyo yoghurt maker this evening: one poured, the other stirred. I'm about to boil the hot water to go into the easiyo and make it do it's magic... yoghurt for breakfast if it works YUM.

As I caught the V-line train today and passed through the Gippsland area, I must admit that I got all romantic about the idea of living on a big block in the country, with an actual house that I can retrofit instead of an apartment in the city, and a big garden that I can fill with delicious edible goodness instead of a few pots here and there. I don't know why the idea is so persistent in my mind - I'd be so isolated from friends and family out here. Then again, I guess it didn't take that long to get the train out here from 'Southern Cross Station' (you'll always be Spencer St to me!). Hmmm. I think it'd be easy to find plenty of positives and negatives about ANY suburb we've been considering. Lots to think about.

I had a soft drink can today... so that whole giving up soft drink thing obviously didn't go well. Still, I had a bad morning, the worst of which was nearly seeing my cat get run over by a truck, and then nearly getting run over when I jumped in front of that same truck. Lol. So I'll be starting the soft drink ban when I feel I've sufficiently recovered hehe.

I miss my cat Dwayne. Thankfully Mum's checking in on him while I'm gone. He really is a bit of a pseudo child ;)

A little bit of added motivation to stay away from one kind of sugary snack!

2009-02-01T19:20:00.002+11:00

I went to my pile of books to decide what to read next... and I found Bitter Chocolate by Carol Off in the pile. If the dangers to my own health and happiness caused by sugar (as outlined in Sweet Poison) aren't enough to convince myself to stop eating things like chocolate bars and blocks of chocolate as a snack, then perhaps the unhappiness chocolate causes to other people will do the trick. I'll report back when I'm finished the book :)

Sweeeeeeeeeet Poison sigh

2009-02-01T18:16:00.008+11:00

Woah. I almost wish I hadn't read Sweet Poison: why sugar makes us fat by David Gillespie. If you believe what he's saying, then fructose is a bit evil in large quantities. The body is not programmed to tell you to stop eating it, like it is with other foods, because early in human history fructose-filled foods were so rare to come by and were therefore not harmful in the available small quantities. However in today's environment of processed foods with added sugars, and readily available sugar, honey and fruit juice, we eat much more fructose than our bodies can handle. We can eat and drink sugar by the bucketload without feeling full (though we might eventually feel sick); meanwhile the fructose causes weight gain (Gillespie blames fructose for the obesity epidemic we see in the developed world at the moment) as well as a whole range of serious - and often lethal - health problems. Being all around us, however, fructose is not an easy thing to avoid or even reduce.

I think I will be asking a qualified dietitian about the fructose issue, as I don't plan to drastically change my diet based on one book written by a lawyer/IT professional. Still, Gillespie seems to have done a lot of research and hard work, and has lost 40kg from his fructose-free ways. Yet another example of a person who changes their life drastically, and then writes an inspiring book that motivates me to change my own. If he is right, I will voluntarily walk my way down into a personal hell: no more than 5-10g of fructose a day (which you would get from a few pieces of fruit). While I research Gillespie's theory, I'll start the first easy (and beneficial for me no matter whether Gillespie is right or not) steps. After all, if I'm going to give up eating much fructose I think the key to success will be to do it in stages. The first two will be... *drum roll*

1. stop drinking coffee as I only like it with three sugars. Swap to sugar free tea.

2. give up soft drinks altogether, and if I really need a sweet drink, have soda water with a TINY bit of cordial instead of the tonne I have with it now.

At the very least these two steps will save my teeth some grief (my dentist has already told me to give up the large number of sugary drinks I was consuming, namely coke which I have almost completely given up), and reduce my caffeine intake as I am a terrible addict.

Living the Good Life... Tassie sounds pretty good right now!

2009-01-31T21:39:00.005+11:00

Ugh. After all this heat, I feel like I should follow Linda Cockburn to chilly Tasmania, where the temperature today and for the rest of the week is exactly where I like it - low to mid 20s, mainly fine but with a shower or two over the week *sigh* Things outside in Melbourne are much cooler, but my apartment is still coming down off a boiling-point high, and no amount of coaxing through open windows and fans will convince it to cool it down before it's good and ready :)

Having said that, my easiyo yoghurt maker arrived today (eep! I'll be trying that out soon!), I spent a bit of time with some great friends this morning, and I have just finished sitting in front of a fan for the last half hour while sipping soda water and cordial and reading the last of Living the Good Life by Linda Cockburn. SO inspiring! I spoke to Ma tonight and she's reading Animal Vegetable Miracle and loves it already, one chapter in - I feel like throwing a big thankyou out to people like Cockburn and Kingsolver for going through things like that and writing about them. It makes it so much easier to be motivated to change the little things along the way when you know that someone else out there made changes that were far more drastic and lifechanging, and lived to tell the tale.

OK, what was it that I loved about Living the Good Life? I think it was honestly written, with all the problems and lapses (which were, however, surpisingly few considering!) included. Linda and Trev get along well but there are some real moments of tension - it's clear that they are very different people, and this means they deal quite differently with the six month challenge. It didn't feel like Linda and Trev had a really easy time of it, and that was with a few years to prepare and make changes that would help them during their experiment. However, they stick at it, and at many times you can sense how 'together' their family seems as they travel along their journey. They survive it as a family.

There were some truly hilarious moments in the book, many of them involving the goat, Possum, who sometimes seems like too much trouble, but provides the family with milk (and therefore cheese, too). Their son, Caleb, also comes across as a funny, witty, lively, child that gets a lot out of the changes that this couple made to their lives. I was really touched by the close relationship between Linda and Caleb - the decision to let him home school because he asks to, the way they play games together, the way she bends the rules to buys him chocolate from the shops for easter so that his fantasy isn't ruined... I felt like they were good people, very normal, doing the best they could - and succeeding - at drastically changing their lives. It came across as difficult, but very achievable and very rewarding.

Ooh I have just stumbled upon Linda's blog, something else to read through and be inspired by!

I also came across a segment they did on 'Today Tonight' (not my favourite program, but I'm glad that the people who do like it got to hear about Linda and Trev) that was up on youtube. Cool.

Ethical Meat? The (first lot of) findings...

2009-01-31T00:19:00.000+11:00

I've been reading a lot of descriptions of visits to abbatoirs, like this one from The Age; I think, if I want to eat one more bit of meat that has been commercially processed, I will sign myself up for a tour.

If I'm to avoid being completely hypocritical, I'm going to have to own up to the same facts in the fishy department: no more fish eating until I have been fishing myself. I think I might head up to the trout/salmon ponds at Marysville (I'm not sure about the sustainability issues involved in fishing at recreational fishing ponds? I couldn't find much on the net anyway). I'm pretty nervous about the idea, but I guess if I find it too distressing I'll have an answer to the eat fish/don't eat fish dilemma I'm currently experiencing.

The next step is to find 'ethical' other meats for my partner and future offspring...

Bertie likes bacon and ham, so ethical (and local as possible, i.e. at least Victorian) pig meat may be on the menu: I found this Age article really helpful - it mentions Fernleigh Farm in Bullarto, near Daylesford. Apparently they sell pig meat at the farmer's market in Collingwood, where I buy my fruit and veg. Also selling at the Collingwood farmer's market is King Valley Free Range pig meat. As much as I hated looking at the pictures of pigs on these websites and thinking about them being turned into meat, I much prefer that idea to buying it from a stupidmarket. I also like the fact that they're using rare or heritage breeds of pig that would otherwise possibly become extinct. Hmm...

I also stumbled upon this butcher who's very local to us! It says on their site: "Our Free Range Chemical Free products are fed on a natural grain based diet free of additives, thus ensuring a flavoursome product. All of our Free Range products are grown with strict standards regarding animal welfare, with the animals able to roam free and graze. We try to support small individual growers and the organic industry as a whole."

Excellent :D

Well I feel that's a good start anyway. I can get pig products for Bertie at the Farmer's Market, and look for other 'ethical' meats while I'm there; then I'll speak to the people at Belmore Biodynamic Meats about their free range meat. If I like what I hear I'll get any meat I can't get at the farmer's market from them.

Next meat-related research project: kangaroo meat (the only non-fish meat I might consider eating).

Is there such a thing as 'ethical meat'? Why bother looking?

2009-01-30T22:30:00.005+11:00

*sigh*

I have a love-hate relationship with meat: I love the taste, but hate where it comes from. As I've mentioned before in this blog, at ten years old I made the decision to go vegetarian. That was relatively problem free until I hit my late teens/early twenties, when I started craving and even dreaming about meat. Since then I've been on a rollercoaster of meat-eating/vegetarianism/pescatarianism. Inevitably, when I give in to the cravings and eat meat or fish, I feel guilt and even, occasionally, self-loathing - which is harder to bear than the dreams and cravings.

Right now I'm in a pescatarian "stage" (I often feel that anything but pure vegetarianism is wrong and therefore when I 'regress' to meat-eating, it feels like a 'stage' I'm temporarily going through). I'm trying to make the most ethical fish-eating choices I possible can, so I'm following the Guide to Fish by Hilary McNevin. However, I want to resolve the 'ethical meat' issue in my own mind, once and for all, so that if I ever do eat meat again, I can do it in a more informed and open-eyed way, as a person who knows where to find organic, free-range meat from as local a source as possible.

Besides, if I can do this research properly, I can buy 'ethical' meat for the much loved meateater in my life, and any little carnivores we may produce along the way...

Feelin hot, hot, hot...

2009-01-30T22:12:00.005+11:00

I sweltered my way through the third day of 43+ degree days here in Melbourne, ugh! I am not made to endure heat; anything over 30 and I wilt and cannot function properly.

No air conditioner at home (a good thing, environmentally, but that's little comfort in 43 degree heat), but the other aircon-users in my area managed to make the power go out for most of the evening. That meant not even a fan for me, little-miss-whingey-pants.

So... I sweated and cursed my way through the evening, ordered a very unhealthy takeaway dinner as my oven and microwave were out of action, and sat outside in the shade to read Living the Good Life by Linda Cockburn in the dying light of the day.

Thankfully the book was so awesome I read my way through the power outage, and found to my delight that both the power and the promised cool change arrived at 9pm. I even managed to feel a little ashamed of how reliant I was on power as I munched on my oven-cooked-takeaway-pizza, in front of an electric fan, blogging on my energy-consuming-computer.

How true that we don't know what we've got till it's gone :)

Right now I'm reading under my newly-appreciated electric light, trying to coax the cool air into my stuffy apartment via open windows and doors...

2009: the year of preparation and self-education

2009-01-28T13:49:00.005+11:00

It's nearly february already (whew, where did that month go?) and I've started to think about what I want out of this year in this journey towards sustainable living. I think there are some big-ticket changes like solar power, water tanks, growing a proper veggie garden etc that probably need to wait until next year when we buy our own place. So I feel that 2009 is my year on training wheels - I am going to learn some of the skills and implement some of the strategies that will eventually add up to a more sustainable lifestyle, and build up to a bigger and better year of sustainability in 2010.

Here are my ten main goals for 2009 -

1. learn to clean the whole house without chemicals
2. Learn to cook some nice, easy vegetarian fare as well as foods like cheese and bread - I might finally use some of my huge collection of cookbooks - and cook them in bulk so I can put half of everything in the freezer to save money, time, packaging, and bad last-minute food choices
3. Educate myself about how to build/retrofit units/houses to be environmentally friendly so that when we buy I am informed and prepared
4. Learn to sew (focus on being able to repair and alter clothes) and knit
5. Buy my food from the collingwood farmer's market whenever possible; failing that, psarakos/preston market; use the stupidmarket as little as possible
6. Focus on reducing my personal water use
7. Get into a stricter habit of turning lights off when I leave rooms
8. Declutter regularly, use freecycle (hooray, gave my first thing away using freecycle today!)
9. Read through all of my many books about the environment, self-sufficient/sustainable living, ethics etc and write about my reactions to them on this blog
10. work towards a 2009 xmas where all presents are handmade/homemade!

Slight change to dish washing technique...

2009-01-27T21:15:00.001+11:00

After a few days of washing the dishes using the soap shaker in one sink and plain hot water in the rinsing sink, I have discovered that my dishes end up coming out with soap scum on them, despite my rinsing efforts. It comes out looking like a white stain on cutlery, plates, saucepans. Ew.

So I had a closer look at the book today, and talked to my A.S.I.L. about it, and worked out I need to add bicarb to the soapy water (2 tsp) and some vinegar to the rinsing water. It worked so much better! Hooray :D

A Year of Slow Food

2009-01-27T09:13:00.006+11:00

Well, things seem to be moving at a super fast pace this week - getting ready for my new course, finishing my last week at work, trying to get around and do things socially and at home on my crutches, organising youth allowance and a concession card etc.

So it was nice to occasionally take a time out and read a bit of A Year of Slow Food by David and Gerda Foster. It wasn't a revolutionary or an inspiring book, it didn't electrify me like some of the books I've been reading lately. Instead the writing reflected the way of life - it was a lovely, gentle, slow look at a couple living a sustainable, largely self-sufficient lifestyle with their family: growing and cooking good food, keeping bees and livestock, working, raising a family, and just generally getting on with life. Each time I read a chapter I felt satisfied, content, and cheerful. It felt like those times you eat yummy, healthy food and get that good feeling deep down in your belly. Which seems to be what slow food is about.

I highly recommend this book. It goes into the 'soul food' category.

Great recipes too!

My first ever batch of jam!

2009-01-26T22:57:00.003+11:00

I went to my grandparents' house for Australia Day this year. I took some of my zucchini slice, cut up into small "zucchini bites", and my grandparents and my uncle apparently enjoyed it. Yay :) After lunch Grandma took me up to her backyard and we picked some of the plums off her tree - there were so many! I've never seen so many plums on a plum tree. Grandma sent me home with a stash of them (plus jars and instructions on sterilising them). Here they are below, with a copy of A Year in a Bottle by Sally Wise. I used her recipe for plum jam (but reduced the amount of sugar from 1.5kg to 1kg).

Here are my plums starting to break down:

Ooooh it's nearly jam:

The final product (I'll never eat all of it by myself!), along with all of the leftover plums. I think I'll stew those up to have on weetbix in the morning, or with icecream for dessert. Does stewed fruit freeze ok?:

Dwayne is clearly exhausted from watching me make jam:

It's funny how after only one zucchini slice and one batch of plum jam, I'm starting to feel capable in the kitchen! I mean I'm no master chef, but I can follow a recipe without stuffing it up. Who would've thought? I guess a bit of confidence goes a long way :)

Going green one zucchini slice at a time

2009-01-25T20:32:00.013+11:00

Tonight I made my first-ever zucchini slice. I grew up eating this, and was thrilled to finally get Mum's recipe for it. I made it into one big slice (to be cut up and frozen) and one little one (to eat tonight). When I was little I remember thinking it looked yuk - mushy and green - but tasted yum. Now I think green and mushy looks pretty damned appealing...

MUM'S ZUCCHINI SLICE

Ingredients:
5 whole whole egg

1 1/3 cup self-raising white flour
375 g zucchini
1 1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
150 g Mainland Grated Light Tasty Cheddar
1/4 cup vegetable oil

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 170C. Grease and line a 30 x 20cm slice tray. Beat the eggs in a large bowl until combined. Add the flour and beat until smooth, then add zucchini, onion, cheese and oil and stir to combine. Pour into the prepared pan and bake in oven for 30 minutes or until cooked through.

_________

So in other news I've only just ordered a bokashi and an easiyo today, and my cursed mind has turned to the next 'i want' before those have even arrived. Oh well I'll post about how bad an idea it is and that might help...

I'd really love a cent-a-meter to measure our electricity use, but it's about $200 and it also needs to be installed by an electrician (more money harrumph). The other thing to consider is that we're living in a rental at the moment. So we'd need permission from the real estate to install it, and even then we might end up moving and have to leave it behind/get it uninstalled somehow.

Methinks I'll have to be patient (ha!) and wait until we buy a place. There's nothing stopping me from reducing electricity use as much as possible without the help of the cent-a-meter anyway. It'd just be nice to be able to measure and monitor it.

Compost and cheese

2009-01-25T13:37:00.008+11:00

One of the things that has really annoyed me about my otherwise-much-loved-inner-city-apartment has been my inability to compost. There's no courtyard or balcony for a bin, and we couldn't have the delightful smell of compost wafting through the place... I heard about the bokashi compost bin, which you can apparently use inside with little to no smell. I ordered one today! Yay!

I'll get to using it as soon as it arrives, and let you know how it goes :)

I also ordered an easiyo yoghurt maker for all of about $20.

I'm planning to try making yoghurt and quark and other tasty cheesy delights. Stay tuned...

my water wasting ways...

2009-01-24T23:01:00.000+11:00

I felt inspired by a post on Towards Sustainability to go to http://www.savewater.com.au/ and see what initiatives I could try around the house to reduce my water usage.

Here's what i came up with:

- When washing dishes by hand, don’t rinse them under a running tap. If you have two sinks, fill the second one with rinsing water. I must admit I rinse my dishes under a running tap because I feel like the dishes don't get clean enough if they're rinsing in water where other dishes have been rinsed. Very anal retentive. I'm going to try and switch to rinsing in the sink though.

- Catch running water whilst waiting for it to warm up. Use it to water plants, rinse dishes or wash fruit and vegetables. I want to try this with both the kitchen and the bathroom. I'll let you know how it goes.

- Wash with a full load and you'll save 10 litres of water each wash. I do fill up the load usually, but sometimes with the delicates wash I normally only have a few things in there. I can probably work on washing more things together...

- Use a shower timer. Choose from a manual 4-minute egg timer or a more sophisticated electronic timer. I've worked on timing my showers by setting an alarm on my phone, but this is getting annoying and a shower timer would be handy. It's on my list of things to buy.

- Shave your legs before taking a shower. Use running shower water to rinse off. Hmmm that's a nifty idea! I'll try this one next time I need to shave my legs.

Awesome. A lot of the other stuff on the site doesn't apply, as I don't have a garden to speak of, a garage, a pool, a dishwasher, etc. But there was still heaps for me to work on. Must remember to recommend that site to friends and family.

One leg, two crutches, three great gigs!

2009-01-23T13:45:00.008+11:00

Haven't posted for a few days but I'm sure you (as in my non-existant imaginary reader) will understand when you hear how busy I've been... I've lost enough weight now that my prosthetic leg isn't fitting properly. I switched to crutches until the skin under one of my arms split (maybe because I wouldn't stop doing stuff, I'm a shocker). I then got myself some crutches that sit at the hands/wrists... I'm still doing too much and OW my hands hurt.

Still, who could NOT do too much? I had tickets I bought pre-crutches to:
1. Cinematic orchestra at the Palais on the 20/01
2. Kel Day, Emma Wall & Ann Vriend at Manchester Lane on 22/01
3. Paul Kelly and Leonard Cohen at Rochford Winery on 24/10

Plus lots of fun socialising and catching up in between. What can I say, I don't know how to slow down!

*photo above added 25/01: Leonard Cohen on the large screen next to the stage - he rocked!

Which is probably why I should be (and am, hooray!) reading A Year of Slow Food by David & Gerda Foster... only one chapter so far as I'm also trying to get through my Nietzsche reader, but it's great reading already :)

I must say that being on the crutches has slowed down my efforts at cooking new things and cleaning the house chemical free - or cleaning the house at all. During the week it's all I can do to get to work, get through the day, go out and socialise or see gigs, and then get home again. It seems you can be a worker and socialite on crutches, or a worker and homebody on crutches. Ah well I've clearly made this week's choice. I'm comforting myself with the thought that on the weekend (between Leonard Cohen on Saturday and a party on sunday lol) I will clean it from top to bottom, crutches or no. At the moment it's a sty. Harrumph.

At least I got to test drive my new soap shaker - brilliant! I'm not 100% sure that I'm getting all the soap off of the dishes when I rinse them - it LOOKS like I am - but I guess I'll find out next time I eat off one ;)

How I Get into Debt

2009-01-20T10:19:00.003+11:00

Hmmm I am TRYING to get debt free before I stop working in February, but I'm not doing too well at it. Today I ordered more books:

Living the Good Life by Linda Cockburn
Choosing Eden by Adrienne Langman
CWA Cookery Book & Helpful Hints by CWA
Sweet Poison: Why Sugar is Making Us Fat by David Gillespie
Home Creamery by Kathy Farrell-Kingsley
Bottlemania: How Water Went on Sale & Why We Bought It by Elizabeth Royte

*sigh*

And they're the books that made the final cut... there were many more in the running. It'll probably be easier to stop buying books when I'm not working with them all day five days a week! (who am I kidding really?)

I am a Wally with water...

2009-01-20T09:10:00.004+11:00

I remember the "don't be a Wally with water" campaign from primary school, and I must confess that I did not learn my lesson at the time. I always knew I was taking long showers - I would have pegged it at about ten minutes, which is still obviously way too long. However, earlier in the week I started putting a timer on so I'd know how long my showers actually were.

The first one was fifteen minutes. Ouch! What was I doing in there? Not happy Jan.

The second time I tried to cut down the time I was in there by being careful not to just daydream and relax under the water, but focusing on what I was doing. I thought I was doing pretty well... Ten minutes. Harrumph.

Yesterday I decided to put a timer on that would go off at me after four minutes. I managed to get out at five because when the timer went off I was half through shaving my legs. Hmm. Still, five was better than fifteen and ten.

Anyway, today I really focused and managed my first-ever four minute shower. I was actually about to turn off the taps when the alarm started going off. Hooray! It should have happened a long time ago but better now than never, hey?

Who would have thought a few months ago that I'd be excited at cutting down a shower time? Once I get the four minutes down pat I'll be changing it to my final goal of three, with a fourth optional minute for days when I shave my legs.

At some stage I'd like to get a bucket I can collect the water's-still-warming-up stuff in... then I can use it to water my tomatoes and strawberries.

What a great night!

2009-01-19T19:30:00.001+11:00

I hung out with my Mum after work today. First we went swimming. It is the best form of exercise for someone with a prosthesis - so nice to get it off and jump in the water where you can float as well as the next person. Tonnes of laps later, I started getting a bit "grumpy old women" on some kids who were continually jumping/pushing eachother into the lap lanes right in front of all the swimmers. Who would have thought I was in my twenties? Ha.

When I went back to Mum's it was one bit of awesomeness after another...

The dinner was 'cous cous patties', which Mum served with steamed vegetables and the most delicious zucchini I've ever had - mini zucchinis from the farmer's market baked in a bit of olive oil. YUM! The cous cous patties were served with a choice of sweet chilli sauce or tomato and capsicum relish. I tried the patties with one and then the other, and it was a tasty party in my mouth :D

I wanted to try cooking these patties myself, especially after my attempt at my Mum's awesome broccoli pasta worked so well earlier in the week. Not only did I get to borrow the book that has the recipe for cous cous patties in it off of Mum, I also found out she has (and was willing to lend me) a copy of A Year of Slow Food by David and Gerda Foster!

My awesome new top of the reading list!

After hearing me whinge about needing a soap shaker, Mum remembered that she had, hiding away in the back of the cupboard from years ago... that's right, a SOAP SHAKER! These are apparently very hard to find, but I now have one! I was so excited we had to stop at the supermarket on the way home to get me some velvet soap so I could test drive it tomorrow.

Also scored a toothbrush from the shops so I could use my old one to clean the grout between the tiles in my shower. I'm starting the oddly satisfying process of cleaning my house using only water, vinegar, bi carb soda and lemon, using A Chemical Free Home by Robin Stewart as my bible. I got home at midnight, tired and ready for bed, and... cleaned the shower. Eep what is happening to me? Anyway the bicarb and vinegar worked pretty well in the shower. I wouldn't say it worked any better than shower power, but it didn't make me dizzy or lightheaded, and didn't leave my skin red and irritated. Tick!

Earlier in the week I also cleaned the floors with hot water and vinegar (tick!), and the stove with bicarb and vinegar (BIG tick!)... So far so good for this book. I don't think I'll do ALL of it, and I'm not sure Bertie will do any of it when she cleans (fair enough too, I can't make that choice for her), but if we reduce the amount of chemicals we use for cleaning in our house - and there are heaps - then I'll be a happy little vegemite. For now. Lol.

But wait! There is MORE awesomeness from tonight for you to be told about. Actually, I'll tell you about it with this photo, which pretty much speaks for itself:

This beautiful, beautiful machine has been sitting in a cupboard for a long time (I was given it as a child) because I couldn't sew... I am going to change that. I've bartered a weekend of my cooking for a weekend of my friend's sewing lessons. Good (I hope) food + sewing lessons + good company = a hell of an exciting weekend!

The food I make can't have meat, dairy, eggs, honey, gluten, yeast, funghi (mushrooms etc), eggplant, tree nuts (all nuts but peanuts), kiwi fruit, mango or honeydew melon. And none of the recipes should have too much sugar in them. I'm looking forward to the challenge :D

They're Calling On You

2009-01-19T08:25:00.000+11:00

Just finished reading this article in the Age about mobile phones - apparently "the problem, for the survival of the eastern lowland gorilla is the mining of coltan. A small amount of minerals derived from coltan ore is used in every mobile phone made. But with about 1 billion phones sold globally each year, that makes for a lot of mining. And the mines are in the habitat of the endangered gorilla."

Bertie and I are planning to upgrade our mobiles soon, so it was fortunate I spotted this article. Our old phones will now be dropped off at Melbourne Zoo, where they'll be given to Aussie Recycling who are refurbishing the phones. They're then resold, which reduces the demand for coltan; the money made from reselling them also goes to the Jane Goodall Institute's primate conservation program.

What a great idea! Better than throwing them into landfill :)

Animal Vegetable Miracle - read it!!!

2009-01-18T14:00:00.000+11:00

In my first post I listed one of the books that inspired my move toward a better life: Barbara Kingsolver's Animal Vegetable Miracle

This book blew my mind. I have since lent it to a friend and plan to lend it out again when I get it back. Who would have thought a book about a family's attempts to grow their own food or source it locally would be so interesting? It's very well written, and easy to read. I really felt like I liked the author and her family by the end of the book. I certainly liked the sound of what they accomplished. If only I wasnt in an apartment with no backyard or balcony! I have put a big pot of roma tomatoes and basil, and little pots of cherry tomatoes and strawberries in part of the shared space (no complaints yet, hooray!), but I'd really love to grow more of my own food, and have room for things like a compost bin or a worm farm. Sigh.

Barbara Kingsolver doesn't just grow her own food - she harvests it, cooks it, preserves it, shares it with friends, teaches her children about it... and then has time to write a book about it! Talk about superwoman. After I finished reading the book I had a sudden urge to buy a big property in the middle of nowhere and become a dietarily self-sufficient locavore. I had to reconsider when I realised that:

a) I go nuts when I feel isolated from friends and family
b) I just know I would end up driving to the city a lot, therefore using lots of petrol
c) a small country town could be a problem for queers
d) a small country town could be a problem for the desired future CHILDREN of queers

So, I resolved to (probably) live in the 'burbs, but take whatever I could learn from Kingsolver's book and apply it to my urban context. I started to think about how you would go about using space creatively to fit as many vegetables as you could into the yard of a property closer to the city, being creative with the space you had. Other ideas started to creep in - adding skills like cheesemaking, breadmaking etc to my dietary self-sufficiency repertoire; retrofitting an existing house to be eco-friendly rather than building a new eco-friendly one from scratch further out from the city; getting involved in public transport activism and using public transport/carpooling/walking as much as possible to make the best of the convenient location we buy in... there were more ideas - some of them a bit wacky I'll admit - but I won't bore you. The point I'm making is that something in the book resonated with a part of me that I think I've suppressed over the years - the part that wants to live the way I believe it is right for me to live. That part of me went from a whisper to a loud scream after I finished reading. There aren't many books that I would call a Turning Point Book, but this is one of them.

Thanks Barbara!

Here is a story about this book from 'The Book Show" on the ABC - you might need to click 'show transcript'. If you can't be bothered reading the whole thing, here's a bit of an excerpt:

"Kingsolver's not the first person to write about the mess we've made of feeding ourselves. There are scores of books out at the moment about the business of eating. Some of them, like Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma, are enlightening as well as grim. But some of them are tiresome, haranguing, even smug. Not this one. Kingsolver hits just the right tone, mixing worthy sentiment with humour, homespun wisdom, and unadorned fact. She has a great sense of pace, too, changing gear when your attention starts to drift, moving from gardening minutiae to an anecdote about Lily's chicken business (her youngest daughter is very entrepreneurial), then shifting back when levity gets too cute by reminding us of the import of the family's goal."

For another review of this book see Julie's post on Towards Sustainability.

Give a girl a fish and she'll eat for a day...

2009-01-18T01:03:00.002+11:00

When I was ten years old, I read a book called The Livewire Guide to Going, Being and Staying Veggie by Juliet Gellatley. Somehow, inspired by that book, I found the willpower to become a strict vegetarian for eleven years. Then, when I hit my twenties, I started craving meat. A lot. I even dreamt about it! Steak with mushroom sauce featured prominently, as did roast lamb, butter chicken, fish and chips, chicken sausages, beef in black bean sauce... I cracked after a few years of these dreams, when I made a dish of crumbed lemon chicken for friends. On an impulse I gobbled a piece of it down, and it tasted SO good. It marked the beginning of the horrible/wonderful Year Of Meat - I ate so much meat, it was like I was making up for eleven years of deprivation. I was loving the taste, my body was telling me it was the right thing to do by it health-wise... You'd think that'd be the end of the story right?

The problem being that I just couldn't reconcile what I was doing with what I believed, so I had guilt guilt guilt galore for the whole year. To make matters worse my views on meat had matured and broadened and became as much about the environment and sustainability as they were about animal rights. So how could I believe in animal rights and an environmentally friendly and sustainable meat-free lifestyle, and yet be stuffing my face with chops and steak? Hypocrisy much?

So I tried cutting out all meat except fish from my diet. I felt I couldn't cut everything out again without failing, so it was better to cut out most than none at all. Fish seemed the obvious choice because it seemed to offer health benefits that other foods couldn't easily substitute, and because it was the only animal I could imagine killing myself (weird but there it is). I also felt, after finding the book Guide to Fish: Choosing and cooking sustainable species, that I could at least satisfy the sustainable/environmental aspect of my concerns, if not the animal rights one. So, I became a pescatarian (or "vegequarian" lol).
The Guide to Fish uses a super user-friendly system of colour coding - green means the fish is considered sustainable enough to eat regularly (Australian salmon's my favourite!), amber means it is a fish you should buy less often (the author suggests once every few weeks), and red means don't buy it at all. Seeing as I eat fish about once a week, I tend to eat the amber ones even more occasionally, usually once a month (I have a taste for Barramundi). The book also tells you great info about each fish: when it's in season, what the fresh fillet should look like, the texture and flavour of the fish, and which method of cooking best suits each species. Amazing! I carry this book around with me when I do my shopping for fish, and read through it when I get a spare minute to try and memorise which fish are a definite no-no. Before I bought this book I had eaten shark (flake) and swordfish, which this book puts on the red list. I had really enjoyed the taste of both, but have committed to never eating red list fish. I would like to know more about these red-list fish though, so that I'm making that commitment with my eyes open.

I do hope, at some point, to move beyond imagining being able to kill a fish, and actually do it. If I can handle it, then bring on the many years of fish eating. If it's horribly traumatic and I can't imagine ever doing it again, I may have to give fish up again (my poor friends and family, how will they ever keep up with what I do and don't eat!). I think it's important to experience this, as I want to make decisions like this with my eyes open from now on...

The possibility of so-called 'ethical' meat - kangaroo, free range, organic etc - is something I'd like to research further too. I don't know if killing an animal can be ethical at all in my mind, but maybe very occasionally eating meat that is as ethical as possible could help stem the daily cravings for it that I still get without breaking the conscience bank... I doubt I can go and watch a kangaroo being shot, but it may be possible to do a tour of a free range chicken or organic meat supplier? Anyway that's something to investigate along the way.

Why start a blog?

2009-01-17T00:20:00.000+11:00

"Do not wait for extraordinary circumstances to do good action; try to use ordinary situations." - Jean Paul Richter, German Romantic novelist and humorist

I want my life to be simpler, healthier, more self-sufficient and more environmentally friendly. I have felt too overwhelmed and too busy to tackle it in the past. I kept waiting for the right moment to start making changes. After reading some inspiring books, particularly Animal Vegetable Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver and Chemical Free Home by Robin Stewart, and after stumbling across a wonderful blog, Towards Sustainability, I finally feel like I can stop putting it off and start taking small steps toward living the way I want to live.

What I really love about these books and about Julie's blog is that they are about good action in ordinary situations. I didn't feel intimidated or overwhelmed - instead I felt inspired to start taking small steps over time toward a better life for myself and my family.

Already I could feel the move toward health and food awareness starting to happen - I've been trying to reach a healthy weight and fitness level, becoming aware of food intolerances and allergies that friends and loved ones suffer from, starting to grow my own food in the extremely limited space I have (only tomatoes so far), and making a move from an Arts degree to a Science course so I can become a dietitian.

However the more I read, the more I realise that there is so much more to be doing, and I can do it, if I give myself permission to do it slowly and carefully. Ordinary Situations will be about all the small and ordinary steps that will hopefully add up to an extraordinary change in my life and the way I live it.